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I thought marriage was all about cherishing the one you love. All he does is cheat? And ignore his children and me. Should I break up with him?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Faded love, Family, Health, Marriage problems, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 October 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 24 October 2012)
A female United States age 36-40, *parklemagic5 writes:

I have been in this relationship for 7 1/2 years and I have been married 2 1/2 years.

Through the time of all these years. He has done nothing but cheated and he feels like its not a big deal at all when he gets caught in his lies or the females tell me.

He constantly lies and make it seems as though I just being insecure but thats not the case.

I just realize that I am worth more than a headache and tears. I feel as though he should hurt like me and feel the pain that no one deserves to be cheated on or mistreated.

Not to mention we have three kids and he act as if they are not here at all.

I feel i'ts time for me to let go and just give it all up. I always thought that being married was something that people cherish which i see different. What should I do??

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A female reader, sparklemagic5 United States +, writes (24 October 2012):

sparklemagic5 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank everyone I decided to let it all. Was trying to make it better for my kids. I really like the advice.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (24 October 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntleave.

you married him knowing he cheats so in his mind it's acceptable behavior. there are no consequences for his behavior if you look the other way or accept it.

You need a lawyer to help you plan child support and visitation (if he does not care about the kids he may not want visitation but that doesn't mean he does not have to pay support for them)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2012):

"He has done nothing but cheated and he feels like its not a big deal at all when he gets caught in his lies or the females tell me."

It isn't. You didn't hold him accountable. Why reasons did you give him not to walk all over you?

"He constantly lies and make it seems as though I just being insecure but thats not the case."

Then why are you defending yourself?

"I feel as though he should hurt like me and feel the pain that no one deserves to be cheated on or mistreated."

He won't feel hurt or pain, and while no one deserves to be cheated on and mistreated, the cheater and mistreater will only do it as long as you let him.

"Not to mention we have three kids and he act as if they are not here at all."

So why are they still there? And you?

"I feel i'ts time for me to let go and just give it all up." It was time years ago, question is how long before you do.

"I always thought that being married was something that people cherish which i see different." Not when the guy you married had been cheating on you for five years before you married him.

"What should I do??" What you likely will not, given you need to ask what you should.

"I thought marriage was all about cherishing the one you love." That's probably what he SAID, but maybe you should have given more weight do what he DID during preceding five years before marriage you married him did to convince you to marry him, then you might have known but said, but marriage suspect a lot more.

"All he does is cheat? And ignore his children and me. Should I break up with him?" You should, but given you have to ask, not very likely you will. Sorry OP, but limit sympathies, and example you should be setting.

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A female reader, oldbag United Kingdom +, writes (24 October 2012):

oldbag agony auntHi

Its the children I feel sorry for here, the atmosphere they are growing up in.Their dad a cheat who ignores them and their mum very unhappy.Marriage is supposed to be cherishing and respecting your partner,your right.

Get everything sorted out financially,see a lawyer,end the marriage,if you have proof of his cheating all the better..

I think ALL of you will be ALOT happier.Good Luck

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2012):

Totally.... No questions asked.. Leave him..

Make sure the house is yours, his support for the children, everything...

No need for you to think about anything, his cheating over and over and over.....Pray and do the right thing...

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