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I thought I was pregnant and needed some empathy from DC but I didn't get it!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 August 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 20 August 2011)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Dear cupid, you have done an excellent job and I am happy to be connected to this page. However, when I enquired if I could be pregnant(anonymous, 30 yo, fingered,?preganant),I needed an answer with some empathy. Your response was correct but insensitive to my state of mind then, which I am pretty sure was reflected in my write-up.I was very disappointed that I could not even confide in you. But knowing that people are not perfect, I forgive you and still think this is a great website. Suggested way forward: Please let us know in advance what we can/ can not ask you in advance(on website homepage) so we know where to seek comfort in such difficult and lonely moments. Even though, you sent me away to my doctor, I am still interested in sharing my results with you. I AM NOT PREGNANT. My periods started last night, and I am happy to have my life back. I think I may become a nun:)...no more guys seems I just can't handle any consequences. Good bye guys!

View related questions: be pregnant, period

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A female reader, RedAthena United States +, writes (20 August 2011):

RedAthena agony auntI believe the advice and response I gave was the same as anyone elses-in a nutshell. See a Doctor.

A 30+ yo woman should know that. It is a simple, non-sugar coated truth. As you said in your own post...

"...seems I just can't handle any consequences"

Seems you would be right to follow your OWN advice, since it has been working so well for you.

With advice, you can take it or leave it.

If you dissagree with it-thats ok!

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A male reader, C. Grant Canada +, writes (20 August 2011):

C. Grant agony auntOP -- I'm a volunteer moderator on this site, and was the one who rejected your question.

I'm happy for you that you had the outcome you hoped for.

Your question was rejected because we have had literally hundred of submissions of "could I be pregnant", and honestly the only possible answer is 'take a pregnancy test'. You said in your (rejected) post that you were too afraid to even take a pregnancy test. And very shortly thereafter you learned that you were not, indeed pregnant.

In the 24 or so hours between your submitting your question and your learning it wasn't an issue, I'm not sure how you might have beneffited from any input here. You would have been told to buy a pregnancy test or to see a health care professional.

I'm sorry your needs were not met. But understand that this site cannot meet everyone's needs, particularly with an issue that is not easily ammenable to advice from internet strangers.

Best wishes.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

DearMandy and Battista, thanks a lot! Sure, I will be a better woman, I promise:)

RedAthena, your response is not helpful and not any different from what "you" wrote yesterday. This is an advice site, save your judgemental attitude low. You should know that better if you really gonna advice anyone. Better still, you don't have to waste anyones time and space if you are that bitter and impatient yourself! You probably need help. ah?

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A female reader, RedAthena United States +, writes (19 August 2011):

RedAthena agony auntStrangers can not meet all your needs and preferences.

I do not recall your original post and since you did not have a link to it, we can not refer back to where you feel others were insenstive or unkind.

Sometimes a direct answer is best. You could have been pregnant. People sitting behind their computers can not be responsible for your feelings. It may have been unreasonable to expect others to give you empathy when they directed to what the priority was.

The best way to find out if you are pregnant is a medical test. You are old enough to know that.

Glad it all worked out in your favor.

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A female reader, Battista United Kingdom +, writes (19 August 2011):

Hi OP

I can't remember your original post, but I am sorry if you were hurt by any replies which you may have received.

Not knowing your question but reading your description here, I think the problem could be that questions like yours seem to be pretty frequent on here. The crux of the matter is: we cannot give you medical advice, and for matter such as pregnancy only a pregnancy test or a doctor's appt will give you the answer.

If you just want some support then I guess you would be best to frame your question in such terms, ie. hey guys I need some reassurance etc. You need to be clear about this.

If you were simply asking whether or not you could be pregnant then people will probably get a bit annoyed as we seem to see similar questions a lot, and moreover they all need the same answer, ie. seek professional advice. I imagine your age range would have contributed to this as well; plenty of people asking these sorts of questions are teenagers who, although of course they should know better, can perhaps be excused if one is prepared to be generous.

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A female reader, Dear Mandy United Kingdom +, writes (19 August 2011):

Dear Mandy agony auntHI

Im so pleased your outcome was a good one for you :)

Not everyone will have an answer to give you that will help and make you happy, sometimes people will say things and can be blunt, but it really dont mean they dont care or understand what your going through. Keep your chin up and work towards a better future for yourself and if its to be a nun lol so be it :d

xx

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