A
male
age
41-50,
*xyuk
writes:Help!! firstly I feel like a total basket case for writing this but I am really wanting to get over this situation I find myself in.Okay I recently had a big sole searching holiday on my own in Thailand where I done nothing apart from detox and recharge my batteries. It had been a stressful 2006 with work and family stuff so I was really out in Thailand to do nothing.I ended up meeting a then Straight guy on the beach where I was staying and we started hanging out together, we talked for hours about everything sex, relationships, childhoods and everything. I openly told him I was gay and he just seemed to be very cool with it to the point I started to wonder about him?Anyway we were getting along too well for comfort towards the end of my stay and the chemistry thing was too obvious to hide amongst the other people in the resort we met. We had been acting like we were a couple minus the sexual contact. He even warned a guy off from chatting me up at the hotel bar one night, and was really trying to impress me the whole time we were together.On his last night, it had become too much for us both to hide and I decided to confront him and tell him how I feel. I got very drunk at a party we was at and confronted him, I told him there was too much chemistry between us to forget about it, and he got very emotional and kind of agreed with me. I then left the party in tears and went back to the hotel.The next morning I met a woman who was at the party, and she told me she had spent the night with him and was very confused as to why he had invited her back to his hotel, nothing happened and she said he was very confused and messed up. We both went to his hotel to say goodbye as it was his last night, and he was really edgy he pleaded with me not to leave him alone with her and got very aggressive when I asked what he had done with her the night before? She then asked to talk alone with him and he took her outside and let her down gently! When he came back inside I didn’t want to speak to him, as I was upset he had even been with her, and I just said goodbye and left him alone in the hotel lobby, he was still saying he’s going to call me when we get back home!I flew back the next day and was home about a week still confused and thinking of him, so I decided to text him and see how he was? He replied straight away with all his news, but nothing about his girlfriend or what had happened between us, I couldn’t help breaching the subject one more time and he said ” I was a really nice guy”! I have not heard anything else for about a month and a half now, apart from he sent me a request to join his msn list, which I did and sent a following email asking him how he was? To no reply.Now , the girl he went with I think to “ try and stop his gay feelings for me “ is contacting me daily saying she is flying to the UK from Australia in order to be with him and get her man! She said he has not been in touch with her, and was trying to pump me for information about his whereabouts? She said to me that he told her there was something he had to come to terms with, and that he knew his relationship with his partner was on its last legs. I have deleted his number out of my phone, tried to stop thinking of him, been on blind dates my friends have set up for me in the hope im going to move on...But now shes intouch its all come back to me... my friends and family as they was not there think im being very dramatic over the whole thing... which i feel anoyed about....!Can you give me your take on it??so i can put this one to bed and not continue to be like this!the whole will he wont he is doing my head in even more! but he hasnt told me to f***off so its rather anoying.Many Thanks
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female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (29 July 2008):
 well you said you have stopped speaking to him, so in theory he is out of your life and now she has come back into the equasion it has brought it back, well remove her from the equasion..i think the reason you are holding onto this is you want to know if he is gay or not and if you and him had a chance..but truthfully their isnt anything you can do, since he wasnt hardly contacting you anyway he has pushed things out of his life. or maybe he is BI..but if you cant just give up on it then contact him ask him whats going on. if he is BI then she is only hindering him and it wont last long.. hope that helps aphex xx
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