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I thought he liked me but then he went ahead and completely ghosted me!

Tagged as: Dating, Online dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 January 2019) 5 Answers - (Newest, 10 January 2019)
A female United States age 41-50, *ikkuv Dizchit writes:

To make a long story short:

Started talking to this guy online..We hit it off. Met in person about a week later. Had great first date. He texted me when he got home to tell me he had a great time and wants to see me again and said he is interested in me. We still text after first date. Meet up for second..It's another great time. He texts me again when getting home to tell me he had a great time and we agree to see each other again. He has a kid, shared custody and trying to make time to date me he said.I told him the days I'm available for another date and he said he will work something out. We still keep in contact. He texts me on Christmas to tell me what his plans are and that we could go out the day after. Sends me pic of him at Xmas. I said sure. He ended up having to get his vehicle towed from it constantly malfunctioning throughout the month and texted me to tell me what happened. He texted when he got home and was stressed of course because he was with his son and Xmas wasn't good. I checked in on him a few days later and he responded saying things were hectic but he's working through and he needs to get his situation figured out. After that it's been a whole week since hearing from him. I've been checking in and no response. From getting to know him over the month, he seemed pretty genuine always filling me in on what's going on, etc. The vehicle story sounded legit and I didn't have any gut feelings about deception. He's completely silent after all this. I'm trying to understand what's going on and taking it personally..

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2019):

What a jerk! The thing is you have no idea what his life involves you really don’t know him very well l! I mean he very well could still be involved with the mother of his child; million scenarios that could be going on and none of them have anything to do with you. Just sounds like he’s not a very standup guy and you’re lucky to find out earlier than later. I would just move on even if he comes calling you soon bc he doesn’t seem like he has the character that would involve a sturdy relationship

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (9 January 2019):

YouWish agony auntYeah, I'd give him one more week before blocking him. If he got his car towed, it might actually BE hectic for him. However, in the meantime, you should have your profile back up and still be open to dating someone else.

Go silent and give him one more week. If he doesn't contact you then, then block him. As always, when someone ghosts, it has to do with their character, not you.

It sucks that in this age of social media and millenials, ghosting is becoming way too prevalent. Over 80 percent of people say they've been ghosted before, and a whopping 39 percent have ADMITTED being the ghoster for various reasons. I'm sure the figure is a lot higher.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (6 January 2019):

Honeypie agony auntAnytime.

And yes, I don't think he is in the right "head-space" or whatever you want to call it to deal with whatever life-issues he has AND making the effort to date someone.

He didn't even have the decency to let you know - he just ghosted you.

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A female reader, Sikkuv Dizchit United States +, writes (6 January 2019):

Sikkuv Dizchit is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for your great answer. They're officially split..She has a live in boyfriend, as well. I actually don't drive. You're right. The uncertainty is killing me. He's obviously not who I thought he was. Blocking him is best, rather than hoping and waiting. I appreciate your reply.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (6 January 2019):

Honeypie agony auntCould it be that he isn't totally divorced? (or split from the child's mom)

I would honestly let this guy go. If it's too stressful to send some messages to you OR just pick up the phone and TALK to you every couple of days, then maybe he really IS NOT ready for another relationship right now. OR he isn't as interested as me claimed to be.

Are you without a car as well?

Someone who goes completely silent is not someone I would pursue. I would actually block him and move on.

It's only been a month of getting to know him and it's already OH SO complicated on his end.. that just doesn't bode well.

The reason I say block him is because I can see him popping up here and there stringing you along and then going silent when he can't handle the contact or.. he is talking to someone else. It's just not viable for a relationship.

And it would be easier to just cut lose now before YOU invest to heavily emotionally in him.

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