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I thought everything was OK. But ? I didn't do anything wrong, did I?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Flirting, Friends, Sex, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 April 2017) 3 Answers - (Newest, 11 April 2017)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I've recently moved house after breaking up with my ex boyfriend.

I thought it was perfect, lovely little house well within my means and close to the town centre of where I live.

I moved in and found that I was living next to a recently divorced man who is a bit older than me but I had a lot in common with.

We would sit outside and talk and I'd sometimes watch his kids when he went to the shop or something. Anyway, we ended up in the same bar near Christmas and got talking and drinking together. Ended up we shared a taxi back home and I stayed at his.

Nothing happened but the next day I felt a bit awkward so I tried to avoid him as best I could. We texted a few times, I took in parcels for him, he did for me and I thought it was alright.

Then I was a bit upset one night and was sat in the garden with my dog, he asked what was wrong and we ended up sat in his kitchen sharing a bottle.

I'd had a rough day at work, and it was nice to have someone to come home to and talk actually. It really cheered me up. We watched a film, and we ended up holding hands half way. We didn't make it to the end before we had sex on his sofa.

We slept together a few more times before my friends rightly said that it would only end up screwing up my living there if it continued as it was.

He wasn't interested in a relationship because he had only just started seeing other women and I didn't really want to start my first relationship since my ex from a one night stand kind of thing.

Anyway he avoided me every since I stopped wanting to sleep together and I just didn't speak to him. It was strange because his kids would always say Hi if they saw me but he wouldn't.

I didn't get it but I thought no point stressing.

Now he has (I think) started seeing someone else. Every few days I hear really really loud sex noises coming from his room. (our bedroom are joined next to each other).

I've asked him to try and keep it down but it's just got worst.

Sometimes he will kind of smirk at me when he sees me and a few times his new 'girlfriend' has glared at me or appears to mutter stuff under her breath. I don't get it, we weren't together, we slept together a few times and neither of us wanted it to go any further so I ended it.

It's driving me mad and my friend said I can stay with her instead of staying here but I don't want to have to leave my house.

I didn't do anything wrong did I?

View related questions: at work, christmas, divorce, moved in, my ex, one night stand, text

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (11 April 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntIt was a bad idea to start sleeping with the guy next door, no good would have ever came from that. Then going over to him to ask him to keep it down well that would have made him feel that you still had feelings, so he has turned it up just to annoy you. He sounds immature. He thinks you have feelings for him. You need to just ignore the noise and get on with your life. It will die down eventually.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (9 April 2017):

Honeypie agony auntI didn't do anything wrong, did I?

Um, yes OP you told him to keep it down. THAT gave him AMMO to NOT keeping it down.

You decided that casual sex was nothing something you wanted and he got his boxers in a bunch even though he ALREADY had a GF.

He is a petty Pete. And my guess is he has told his GF all kind of lies about you in order to cover for him CHEATING on her with you. No wonder she doesn't like you. HE probably made you out to be some insane stalker chick.

My advice, do go stay at a friends house a few days if you need a break from the "sex noises" and him. Other than that, just IGNORE it and IGNORE him. You can still be polite and say hi to his kids (poor kids have to listen to those noises too and HE doesn't give a shit about that as long as he can RATTLE you... what does that tell you? He is a piece of... crap.

IGNORE the GF and her muttering. WHO cares what she thinks of you? She is no one to you. YOU can't control that, or how this idiot behaves.

Just go about your life, enjoy life. Go out meet new people, expand your horizon and chalk this dude up to a MISTAKE, that is ALL he is.

Chin up. And remember YOU dodged a bullet when you ended things with this guy! He is NOT a very decent man...

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (9 April 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntYou got involved with an immature kn0b who now thinks it is acceptable to rub his sex life in your face and have his latest squeeze mutter stuff about you.

The line that speaks volumes to me is "he avoided me every since I stopped wanting to sleep together". Poor child feels rejected and now has to flaunt his sex life to make himself feel better. You rejected him! How dare you? Lol! Just because he didn't want a relationship did not mean he did not want you to desire him and let him use you for sex. Luckily you had more sense and maturity than to do that - and that is what hurts him.

Try to rise above it as he is obviously an insecure immature jerk. Thank your lucky stars you didn't get properly involved with him.

Hopefully, he will get bored of antagonising you once he sees you are not bothered. Don't let him see he is getting to you. Just keep smiling and being friendly. And invest in some earplugs.

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