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female
,
anonymous
writes: I met a man on a date site and we hit it off. On the third date I found out something was there, so I asked 'what are we doing?' He said 'we are connecting, taking our time dating ...taking one date at a time'. But he's still on the dating site so I got back on the site as well. Question: is this a stall tactic for an open relationship? Cause I really care about him but I don't want to be a fool either. Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, theotherkathy +, writes (2 January 2006):
Did you ask him if he is still using the site? Maybe he doesn't realize that he still has his profile up? I am in a serious relationship and just realized, after checking my alternate email address which I used for those sites, that my profile is still up and running on 3 websites! Good luck to you :)
A
female
reader, Irish49  + ♥, writes (1 January 2006):
 No, this isn't a tactic at all. He has been honest and straight-up with you and I respect that. You've only dated him a few times, hun-he's still not sure of his connection to you. And you should be doing the same. He's going slow, being cautious, and he's being very 'selective'. If his dating profile is still up-I am pleased you said, that you left yours up as well. And you should! Three dates is way too soon to be "taking profiles down". If you both make it to the 6 month mark, remember one good, genuine measure of your boyfriend's sincerity and seriousness toward you, will be..whether removes his profile. Watch for this. You both should agree to this together. He atkes his down-you take yours down. Many sincere, good men leave it up and inactive while dating and usually 'take it off' after 4-6 months of 'exclusive' dating and most women usually do the same. Some people use the internet dating constructively, using it as a tool for finding a compatible partner, sadly-others do not. Be careful...because some people play around on the dating sites, never intending to get serious. They in effect, become wrapped up in that fantasy of having a variety of women, at their beck and call. It's very appealing to the needier people who crave ego massages and constant confirmation of their attractiveness. It's rather pathetic, isn't it? But this may not be the case with your bf...just go slow and take it one step at a time. Love is a huge risk..I hope this works out for you. Best of luck. Take Care.
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A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (1 January 2006):
 This man is keeping his options open,while he is in contact with you he is probably chatting to other women.Its up to you but i wouldnt put all my energies on just one man.He seems like he wants to date as many women as he can,its called having your cake and eating it.Just be careful.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2006): The grass is always greener, ask for exclusivity for say a month, if he's not up for it.... beware!
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A
female
reader, ask aunty heather +, writes (1 January 2006):
you need to talk to him. explain what you want and ask him what he wants. if he still has a profile on the dating site is he still dating other people? ask him what he wants from the time he spends with you ! is it the same as what you want? if the two points of view are similar or a compromise can be reached then stay with him. if you feel you cant trust him this early on in the relationship then get out
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2006): I would suggest you talk to this guy about what is going on openly.Lay it all on the table tell him what you want and how you feel about him still being on the site.If he wants a realationship with you I personally see no reason for him not to come off the dating site.Its a shame but these sites while a great help to some people looking forl ove also leave it wide open for people to mess around alot easier.Keep a clear head its easier to lose a guy after 3 dates than it is after years.Good luck with your dating in the future if this doesnt work out.
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