A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello.I've known this guy for over eight months now. We started talking casually through mutual friends, we both flirted, hung out a lot (some people actually thought we were dating at this point) and finally we got really comfortable with eachother and got into a sort of friends with benefits relationship. We have never had sex, but we have gone up to foreplay, talking about our fantasies, getting eachother off, etc. He isn't a virgin but didn't want to get to that stage with me right away. We are also very close to eachother. We have never spoken about this fwb thing, it just happened and we let it happen. Everything went fine for awhile. One day he told me he found one of my friends cute and tried dropping hints at her. He told me it had been a long time since he had anything serious with a girl and he was craving that now. After awhile he got tired of pursuing my friend cause she just wouldnt pick up the hint. We laughed about this together. It made me slightly jealous but i didn't let it affect me too much. Now for awhile, much before he told me that he found my friend cute, we both have gotten really busy with work and have also stopped talking much to eachother. We talk everyday. Still do, but the time we spend talking has gotten less as compared to always being in touch throughout the day, either thru text or calls.For my main doubt and why i am so confused -It is his birthday today. On the past weekend he took me and some of his guy friends out for drinks. We had an awesome time. During the night, he kissed me. Not just once; he kissed me more than ten times through the night. He said to me, "I like being with you." He kept coming back to kiss me, hug me and kept calling me baby.It's not the first time he has done this. Previously, in our fwb stage, we have gotten drunk with friends and he has told me that he wanted to go out with me alone, on a date. It is confusing to me because once that night has past, we both go back into our busy lives and don't discuss these things. We have spoken about everything else, our day, plans for next weekend, future holiday plans together, etc. But he never talks about that kiss or about what he said about wanting to go out with me on a date!! He wants something serious, he has made that very clear. We get along really really well. People including his parents thought we going out! My friends think that he probably got so comfortable with me and now we have friendzoned eachother. I can't help thinking that we could be a great couple. How do i pursue this? I love talking to him, being with him, kissing him was amazing...What do i do? I am generally a shy person. He is very timid. So bringing up topics like this could risk so much...all the intimacy we have could be lost!!! I don't want that either. When he told me he wanted something serious, he never said he wanted it with me but I'm sure he sees something in me if he tells me he wants to go out with me and likes being with me (even though its when he is drunk. It has got to mean something!) Help with comments, suggestions, anything.
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drunk, flirt, foreplay, friend with benefits, jealous, kissing, shy, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2015): I am the original poster of this question. I did meet the guy a couple of times after i posted this. We were both sober. But when i bought up the other night, he just smiled and got shy. He called me that night to just speak with me. I thought he would talk about it over the phone at least. But we spoke about some movies and meeting up over the next weekend. Sighhh!! We talk...but he has kinda started ignoring me over social media. I hope i haven't driven him away. Oh and i forgot to mention earlier. There was once when i posted a picture of me and a good college friend online. He didnt comment there, but asked me randomly later on who that guy in my picture was. When i said he was only a good friend, he didnt reply. This is getting so weird. I really do want to talk to him about this. Dont know how. Please any more suggestions??
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2015): A drunk action wouldn't happen without him considering to do it while sober. Being drunk has made him confident enough to kiss you. I think that this guy is interested but feels unsure about where to go with this. Maybe he feels the same as you: he wants a relationship but thinks that you are comfortable as you are?
Consider inviting him on a date, something g small like "hey we haven't seen each other enough recently, should we grab a coffee" and you can talk about what's going on. Maybe mention another guy that you have been talking to and see if he act jealous
Good luck :)
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