A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I have been dating my boyfriend for the past 2 years now.. we have been fighting a lot,arguing so much that I can't remember of a single restaurant or a place we went where we haven't fought (not public fighting but just no talking to each other or ignoring) my boyfriend usually aplogises and forgets all about it in ten mins but in that span he says something that hurts and I go back home and shout at him!for the first time in 2 years I used a swear word at him like "M*t*er *uc*er and I said really mean things,because there was so much build up I couldn't hold it in anymore, he brought up a guy who used to be my friend way before I met my boyfriend who would flirt with me it was all harmless flirting which continued and I stopped talking to him because my boyfriend did not like our conversation (yes he read my text messages) we haven't spoken to each other since a week, I don't know if it's over I don't want to call him because if I do I just think we will fight again and honestly I am going thru a lot of personal problems (lost my grandmother, can't afford college tuition) he knows all of this!i don't know what to do?he has some of my belongings which I need back and I don't know how to get it? please help me
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female
reader, MSA +, writes (11 March 2015):
 Your situation sounds like that of my boyfriend and his ex from RI. They argued every day about the silliest things. One minute they can be doing fine and happy and the next minute they'd be arguing. This lasted a bit over 2 years for them.
Everyone around them - family, nieces, nephews, friends all saw they were not compatible. Finally they themselves realized it too and broke up. He had a bit of his belongings at her place, packed it up and left.
Since their breakup, he's weary of taking to her... afraid that any little thing he says will stir up emotion and they will argue again.
I suggest best thing to do is to text him a list of your belongings. Ask him to put those items aside and have a friend go pick them up for you.
Stay no contact for a while.. If you feel like you can be friends after a year or so of no contact then that's great, if not just let it go and move on.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (11 March 2015):
 Call him and say hey, I have some of my stuff at your place, WHEN is a good time for me to pick it up. If he tries to pick an argument or a subject he KNOWS you two will disagree over, KEEP to the subject of finding a day and as soon as you have a date/time tell him you got to run and see you "time agreed upon"...
Then DO NOT get into an argument with him while you are there. It's NOT hard to say, hey I don't want to fight I just want my stuff.
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