A
female
age
18-21,
Blakforst
writes:First, some background info on me:1) As a little girl still in kindergarten, I never liked hanging out with girls. I just didn't like them. I felt they were annoying and a waste of my time. Guys were much more fun.I still feel the same way now. I'm closer to guys than I ever will be with girls. So it's a big deal that I have one female close friend.2) I don't like guys my age. I preferred Men. Again this was evident in my childhood. Which was probably why my dad kept sending me to all girls schools. He realised my... "seducing" charms at a very young age. Again, I'm still the same now. Girls like Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise, I like George Clooney and Richard Gere. That sorta thing.I pretty much enjoy the company of Men, and not guys my age. For some strange reason, I find guys my age highly childish and annoying, and I really wish they'd grow up. So school's pretty much torturous for me (colleges in Singapore are all mixed schools, Dad had no say this time. Not that it mattered.) Even guys within the age range of 20-29 are annoying. And it's not like I didn't give them a chance. I tried to be normal, and dated guys my age, guys a few months younger than i am, guys who are 20++. I just didn't like them.It was always those in their thirties and above that I enjoy spending time with. Even if it was just having a conversation and coffee. Nothing sexual.Of course, I have had feelings for a few in the last few years. Right now, I have feelings for a thirty one year old German guy. It's strange, what with me being only 18 this year. But I know, and my friends can tell that he isn't making effort to think to my level, or me doing likewise. It just seems so, free and easy between us. I don't have to mature my thinking, he doesn't have to degrade. I guess I'm mentally older in that sense. I'm not trying to boast when I say that, though. it is a pain sometimes, and if I could, I wish I could at least have gone through a proper normal childhood and teenagehood first. That guy, has feelings for me too. We've already made it clear between each other. It's mutual. I wouldn't say we love each other as of yet. It's too early, I think, to use the term 'love'. But we are definitely very interested in each other. Because he is older, and has gone through all that teenage puppy love romance stage thing, and is much older, the way he treats someone he likes is naturally different--more matured and less obviously. But, likewise, I'm more comfortable with that, than having a guy constantly asking me out, and sending me love messages and what not. It's all very strange for me, and I don't like it too much.The problem is, is this right? I am not interested in him for his money (he isn't rich anyway,) nor his looks (for a girl of 18,) nor the fact that he's white and I'm asian and a hooker of whatever sort. I'm not, I swear. I just like him, for who he is. To me, he is that guy who can always make me laugh, and smile, even on days when I'm too tired to even move my lips to say hi. He is the one who cuddles me all day when I have a hangover, and I can trust that he wouldn't drug me or do anything to me. And last but not least, he is the one I can live with. Now, I'm not saying getting married. That idea is still too foreign for me. I want to live life first. I'm the sort who cannot live with people. Not even my own family. Not that they do anything to me. It's not their fault. I just can't live with people. They piss me off. But for him, I can. Without even trying. He knows of all my flaws, embarressing and whatever. But he still accepts me for the way I am (which is a very difficult thing to do, knowing myself).I just wonder, if, maybe, I am capable, and matured enough to know if this is right for me, if this is the right thing at all to begin with.
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female
reader, Blakforst +, writes (30 March 2008):
Blakforst is verified as being by the original poster of the question To Lazy guy,
I am defending myself from being assumed of as an asian hooker, because, isn't that a normal stereotyped assumption?
I am not one. I don't care for money (the one thing that pisses my parents off loads.) I'm not into anyone else's wallet except my own.
All my life, I've been brought up lectured at to be mature. I guess, that is what is expected from me because I'm supposed to be a prodigy of some sort. Don't ask me. I haven't quite figured that out yet.
I'm afraid of head-over-heels love. Lest it gets the better of me, and blinds me from the truth. But yes, for the climb the mountain bit, this is one guy I can live with, go to sleep with and wake up to, without getting annoyed, as I would anyone else.
I do question his motives. A lot. After a few painful relationships, it's something I learnt. I guess that's the final block between us. Or me and him at least. And I think he's knows I'm still wary.
I asked for advice because... I'm afraid of making the wrong decision. I'm afraid of getting hurt again. Am I doing a wrong thing to like him so much?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2008): You're 18.
You are entitled to date and hang out with wheoever you want.
I would advise talking to a professional about any possible hang-ups that prevent you from forming decent relationships with men of similar age to you and other women.
Its prefectly fine to be into older guys, but you clearly have issues with people and these are yhours and yours alone. You cannot live a healthy life until you sort this crap out.
Flynn 24
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  + ♥, writes (26 March 2008):
 Why is this tagged "escort" and "money"?
And what is with "nor the fact that he's white and I'm asian and a hooker of whatever sort." Although your english for an 18 year old is remarkable, that sentence could be read as "I'm asian and a hooker"
Are you, because most women would not feel the need to defend themselves from being a hooker. Did you mean to say you aren't a gold-digger (marry for money)?
A thing to consider is that you are still very young, the way you feel now may not be the way you feel in two years.
On the other hand, these seem to be feelings you have had all your life, so perhaps you are just naturally attracted to older men. Who can blame you, we are a pretty great bunch ;)
What I am a bit confused about why you feel the need to constantly hammer on you being mature enough for this. Do you feel you HAVE to be mature?
You seem to not question his motives at all. After all, if you want mature men, you naturally have to look to older man, but if he wants a mature woman, why would he be looking at you? Plenty of old, oops, mature women around.
Simple fact is that men like young girls. Surely you can figure out the reasons for that? Just take of your bra, watch what your tits do and compare that to a woman his age. Is he just robbing the cradle to get a last green shoot before he is shipped off to the retirement home?
There is also the fact to consider that you are strill growing up, part of a being a couple is growing old together/growing up (depending on what life stage they are in), well you will still be growing up, first job, first house, first car. While he is in the stage of growing old. It is one thing to date an old man, another to live with him.
You obviously put a lot of time and effort in thinking about this, but I wonder if you have fully thought it true.
Remember, that despite what you think there are men your age who are mature. After all, you are your age and mature.
It sounds a bit like this guy "has to be the one". A bit like a girl who fantasizes her dream prince and then bends reality around the first men she meets to make him fit that image.
Not saying a may-december relationship can't work and far be it from me to ruin another old man's change with a young girl but something is missing from your post and I think it is love. Not logical or reasonable attraction as you paint it, but crazy heads over heal, climb any mountain love.
You seem to realize that too, because from what you wrote there is NO reason not to say "go ahead" so why did you ask for advice? What is missing from your post. What are you NOT saying.
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