A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I have recently started a part time job which i love. Everyone is so lovely but I have found myself flirting with this guy. We text a lot and he says very flattering things but he is due to be married in a few weeks. He has two children with this girl but never mentions anything when we're together. I know it's really wrong but surely he's in worse situation than me? I know he won't leave her and I think he is just looking for a fling due the the fiancées past experiences. I don't know what to do as I can't avoid him completely ??
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 February 2017):
 What do you do? You realize he is about to make a huge commitment like marriage and you stop flirting with him. You ask him to delete your number as you feel uncomfortable texting him. Then you block his number and be polite at work. You are to young to be tarnished as a home wrecker. Please do not become that girl who cannot find a man for herself so tries to get with another woman's.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2017): Trust me sweetheart, if you go forward with this, it will be the biggest mistake you ever made.You are still in time not to make it.I have been there. And in the end, it destroys you and you are not the same girl you once were and you never will find her again. You lose your innocence and your own self respect. You feel worthless and used. And you end up in therapy. Just never the same. If I could go back, I would undo it.Don't break your own spirit.Stay strong and stay clear of this PIG.Would you want a guy like him doing this to you as his girlfriend? See what he is? That should DISGUST you enough to stay away from him. He is going to do this with ANY girl who lets him.You would not be special.Maintain your dignity and character and self respect. He is garbage. But you aren't.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (11 February 2017):
 Tell him to concentrate on his fiancée.
DO NOT:
1. Get involved in a workplace romance
2. Get involved with someone who's already in a relationship
Both are asking for trouble. Keep your dealings with him professional and about work only. He's a massive waste of time and I feel sorry for his fiancée who has no idea what he's really like. Sounds like an absolute sleaze.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2017): I was in exactly the same situation as you except we took it further than you and slept together. I regret it each and everyday and I have never spoken since and moved jobs. Don't do it. It's not worth it. Cut contact
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (11 February 2017):
 Sweetheart, take it from one who is a lot older and more experienced than you: if you "go there", you will regret it.
As soon as his fiancee/wife-to-be gets wind of anything going on between you, he will dump you like a hot potato and blame the whole thing on you.
How would you feel in his fiancee's shoes if you found out your husband to be, and the father of your two children, was having a fling with a young girl (because that is what you are) weeks before your marriage? This could mean the marriage could be called off, the relationship could split up and two children could lose their father. Would that all be worth it for a "fling"?
How do you think she would feel if she saw your texts on her fiance's phone? Are you prepared for her storming round to your workplace and embarrassing you in front of all your work colleagues?
His problems with his fiancee's past are nothing to do with you. He is a creep for discussing this with you. You do not have to provide him with the experience to level up the playing field. Have a bit more self respect. Why do you not think you are worth more than what this man is possibly offering?
Stop the flirting with this man. He is not free to flirt with you. Feel a bit of compassion for his poor wife-to-be and his children and back off. Find yourself someone who can offer you what you are worth.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (11 February 2017):
 True, if you work together you can't avoid him BUT you can start acting more professionally, you know, like work colleagues.
However you CAN block him, stop texting him, stop thinking about him in a flirty manner, if you are meeting him outside work hours then you are as bad as him .... if you are only together during work hours then when he starts flirting ask him how the wedding plans are going, ask if the children are attending play group or nursery school, ask him what kid's TV programme his kids prefer watching ...
And hear this ... you are quite young still so to save you a whole lot of grief I am going to let you in on a secret that usually takes some of us a few years to learn ...
Work place romances are NEVER a good idea, when they go pear shaped often so does the job, and who wants to be looking for a new job with a less than stellar workplace reputation. There is also this to consider, when a girl gets in over her head at work with a man who is already in a relationship it is usually the girl who ends up carrying the can ... and if you want to know what sort of can I am talking about, its the sort of can that used to be in a very little house way down at the bottom of the garden.
Pull back from this guy, get professional and stop bringing your personal life into your work place.
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