A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I think my partner is having a fling with a girl he works with.They (with some others) went abroad working for around 4 weeks.I noticed when we were all out together she always went to the bar with him.When he got home he was annoyed with me because I told him i was feeling insecure as he never answered my calls and rarely texted me - Butat the weekend he sat and read text and sent text mainly to her (I know because I saw it was her who had sent the text) after taking me out for a meal.He said he loves her as a friend. But whilst in bed, and a bit drunk he called me by her name.I rang her and told her to stop texting him - now he is angry with me for doing that as it is his work colleague..I feel devastated and sickAm i paranoid?
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female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (29 April 2007):
 Your partner calling out her name whilst in bed with you is wrong but it does not mean he is having an affair. But it means that he fancies her and that is the problem.
He is angry because he feels embarassed by your actions of calling the other girl and feels guilty of being caught red handed.
You need to communicate more, this issue is between the two of you, nobody else.
If your partner is not willing to work this through with you and understand how his actions might have made insecure in the first place then do you see things getting better in near future?
You cannot have a healthy relationship without trust, respect and communication.
I am sure that if you went away for 4 weeks and come back with a new male friend texting all day, he would not be so happy.
Either way you needto talk about where this relationship is heading.
Take care
Angel of Love
A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (29 April 2007):
 You're not being paranoid at all, I think he needs to think how this would feel if the shoe was on the other foot and you were obsessing over some guy and saying his name in the bedroom. I can't think of anyone who would put up with that, man or woman so you must be a saint!
I think your suspicions are probably correct, whether or not anything has happened between them yet, I definitely think it sounds like he wants it to. You need to set him straight - he gets this girl out of his life and starts treating you the way you deserve to be or he's gone.
Good luck
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