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I think my husband's cheating-I need advice on hiring a private detectives!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Cheating, Faded love, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 March 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 5 March 2012)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

How do I find a reliable pvt detective in LA area..I suspect my husband is cheating on me.I'm a SAHM and my husband is always denying...we are in a sexless marriage since 5 months.Can cops help me find stuff like this.i really don't want to talk to a stranger because what if my suspicion proves false.So please tell me about confidential but highly reliable detective with whom my info will be safe. If anyone has 1st hand experience with any detective, plz share your experience.thanks.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (5 March 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntSo what will happen if you spend this money (btw how will you pay for it and not have him find out?) and find out he is cheating?

will you leave?

what good will the knowledge be for you?

if you don't trust him now what will finding out he's not cheating do for you? will you trust him more then? or will the next time be the same thing?

there are bigger issues than how to find a discreet PI to figure out if he's cheating.

have you talked to your hubby about these feelings?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2012):

Look... if you can't trust him now, then whether he is actually cheating is not the point.

If you are paranoid to the point where you want to get a PI involved... the relationship is doomed, no matter the outcome. I mean, suppose he's innocent and finds out what you did, either because you crack from guilt and tell him, or he finds out some other way... how can he ever feel like you trust him ever again?

Look... perhaps this will bring about the truth. Just remember that the truth should always be treated with great caution.

Flynn 24

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2012):

I was married 19 years and suspected my wife of cheating based on facebook chatter, odd text, and just overall gut suspicion, which I never really had before because I wasn't a jealous type. I hired a private detective, and he confirmed what I thought. To me it was miserable to second guess yourself, and wonder, and obviously be lied to. Its hard to accuse and not have facts to back it up, just leads to fights, and more misery. So, the day was long when the private invest was out, he would call and provide updates on an hourly basis, or as things changed. Most of the day had gone well, she was doing just what she said. Then the call came, he had her on video with the guy. Going into his condo, going to dinner, doing everything pretty much. I called her and asked what she was doing in a casual voice, I had the investigator on the other end of the line, she told me she was at the mall shopping. When I had a PI on the other line saying she was at the condo and was on video. I told her we were done. The boys and I moved her stuff out, my brother helped. I filed for divorce. My boys barely speak to her because she lied repeatedly to them. The one thing about getting a PI is that you have to prepare yourself for what the outcome is. That is the hardest part. I wish you the very best! Hope this was helpful.

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