A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Can someone advise me please? Ive done nothing wrong and he is the one giving me the silent treatment, but he left a receipt out for solicitors fees. I think he's divorcing me!!!(he;s been working out figures too and leaving them around, not hidden) although he has passwords (secret) on all his computer records and phone.Everything is 'under his lock and key!!What happens then, surely i dont have to pay anything if he files for divorce against me? I think he's trying to "turn the tables" and make me out to be in the wrong. But, let him try then, because i'd really like to know what it is ive done.Just unsure what happens to me, the long suffering, unloved, neglected and ignored wifey who only works part time now on a low income, but paid over and above towards the mortgage and bills every month for the last 8 yesrs while i was working. mortgage now paid off and is in joint names. We are both living i our house although in seperate bedrooms and as strangers for the last 5 weeks!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2014): It sounds like he is detaching from you on purpose and planning his divorce. Perhaps because you have done nothing wrong he is trying to create the problems so he has something to say when he files. Its manipulative at best. There is a website somewhere on 'Runaway husbands' might help you spot what is going on.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2014): Important advice for you. Your hunch is most likely correct and you are, right now, in a vulnerable position. If he is doing this to get divorced then he is getting everything ready so that he is in the driving seat and do not be fooled that he will be nice to you in the process - he won't. His actions now are just an indication of how cold some men can be. My ex husband and I had a bad marriage and he sneaked off and thoroughly briefed a solicitor to get divorced. Believe me, the solicitor will be telling him what information to gather, how to behave, what to do and not to do, what to say. It can leave you confused and I was blind to it - hindsight is what I am passing on. You need to get YOUR finances sorted. Take whatever steps you need to get information for yourself and be prepared with your own solicitor. If you can get any more evidence of his behaviour through a Private Detective you would be doing yourself a favour.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (19 October 2014):
 You don't need a reason for divorce. People can just say they are no longer happy or have no passion so they would rather be single. Divorce rate for couples over 50 had doubled. After children are grown up and independent there are no more ties to bind the couple. I myself like the idea of growing old with a spouse. I like reading obituaries of near centennial couples who were with each other forever but some people think that the reward of a long term marriage is being single again. The divorce will end your misery of being unloved and ignored. You may not want to pay for your divorce but if you hire a lawyer yourself then you show that you are serious and are prepared to support yourself. Lawyers and judges are very fair. If you speak to them in a civil tone and not try to sling mud at the other spouse, they are more likely to cooperate and help you in every way. You should be able to get what you are worth for the hard work throughout the 18 years of marriage.
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