A
male
age
36-40,
*ey
writes:I just recently broke up with my girlfriend who I love a whole bunch because she didn't call me for a week and didn't come to see me on thanksgiving. However, as I'm sitting here I'm thinking back over the course of our relationship and I'm beginning to see that her moods were sort of unpredictable and I think I'm beginning to understand why. I did a little bit of searching on the internet and came across something called "Hypomania" which is a sort of Bi-polar disorder. We've been together for a year so I KNOW her in and out completely, all her habits and behavior patterns and as I read the list of symptoms I saw that they fit her COMPLETELY. They could have been describing my girlfriend exactly. These are the symptoms. (1) inflated self-esteem or grandiosity (2) decreased need for sleep (e.g., feels rested after only 3 hours of sleep) (3) more talkative than usual or pressure to keep talking (4) flight of ideas or subjective experience that thoughts are racing (5) distractibility (i.e., attention too easily drawn to unimportant or irrelevant external stimuli) (6) increase in goal-directed activity (either socially, at work or school, or sexually) or psychomotor agitation (7) excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that have a high potential for painful consequences (e.g., the person engages in unrestrained buying sprees, sexual indiscretions, or foolish business investments) A very strange but possible symptom is actually emotional flattening, also known as blunted affect. A person may seem cold, uncaring, or arrogant. They may show little emotion at all.My girl has 95% of the symptom, this is prevalent to me because we'd joke about her Tendency not to sleep like a normal person, her grandiose self esteem, and I know for a fact she talks a mile a minute Now. I'm not a superficial or shallow person. I love her to death except that every now and then she's like a different person...If the problems in our relationship were caused by "Hypomania" then I'm sure she's undiagnosed since its difficult to spot. How do I go about telling her that I think she has Hypomania and that I am willing to work with her through it? I don't think this is the sort of information that she will take with a smile...Can anyone help me on this please?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009): Hi, as someone with every single one of theose symptoms I can tell you what a relief it was to find out what the heck has been going on with me my whole life.
There's a good chance once your girl is diagnosed that she will come to terms with her moods and find some peace behind her manic and/or depressive rages.
Good for you for not giving up on her. It can be very difficult to show emotion when a hypomanic is what I call 'in between'. She could be struggling within herself and feeling very confused, and even ashamed about her bazaare behavior. A loving partner who undertands her could be the only chance she has at a long term relationship.
Yoga, working outside, limiting involvement with stress, and avoiding caffeine and alchohol are important remedies to achieving a less hyopomanic existance. I would suggest owning a pet too. Also, vigorous exercise is a pretty safe way to burn off the high. It sure beats those next day regrets.
Good luck to you and God bless
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2007): Hi
I think my situation is similar to yours, I broke up with my Boyf about 9 weeks ago after his behaviour got too much we were together for five and a half years. His family were always very wierd and protective over him and never gave away any information about him and he became extremely difficult to live with. It was only till after I ended things that his best friend stepped foreward and said that my Ex did have a very real and diagnosed metal illness and hinted that he was infact Bi-polar! I always knew something was wrong but I never did anything and I feel so much was kept from me! I do feel guilty about the fact that he couldnt discuss this with me, but the subject is very difficult - as you know!
I dont know what to do myslef, I would like to resume contact and see how hes getting on but I dont know how! You seem such a decent guy wanting to be with her and help her through it, I wish I knew before it was too late about my boyf! I think you do need to get her in the first instance to see a doctor and the best way to do this is to speak to her about your worries face to face - and then if she agrees let the doctor do the rest. It is important and if left undiagnosed then I can imagine things could get hard. But be aware that a relationship with someone who is Bi-polar is extremely hard and as she is your ex , you may want to take a step back and reconsider getting too close too fast, get her to seek help first then take it slowly!
I do wish you all the Best and Good Luck
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A
male
reader, Rey +, writes (1 December 2007):
Rey is verified as being by the original poster of the question I'm 100% positive it isn't Methamphetamine. She's told me that sometimes she feels depressed and that sometimes she can't explain why she feels a certain way. Throughout the relationship I just thought she was being...I don't know eccentric? But now that I've done some research it becomes clear that she may be undiagnosed with this hypomania.
My friend suggests that I write her a letter and send her the information I found off the web, which I plan to do tomorrow. I just don't think me calling her up after our break up and telling her what I think would go over very well. I think the letter is the best option.
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A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (30 November 2007):
 Show her the article you found on the internet and tell her that you have concerns that she may be un-diagnosed with this illness. Perhaps she'll be willing to go in for an appointment. Maybe if she's on the right medication her eratic behavior will be better controlled. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, kitkat +, writes (30 November 2007):
Do you know for a fact she isn't on drugs? Because almost all of those symptoms are the same as some of the signs of Methamphetamine use. Just a thought.
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