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I think my daughters friend was sexually molested

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Question - (29 August 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 30 August 2010)
A female United States age , anonymous writes:

is this normal? My daughter who is nine had her ten year old friend over the other day. They were playing on the slip and slide in the backyard. I looked out in the backyard and the ten year old is sitting with her legs spread with a big smile on her face and took the hose and pointed it towards her privates so the water would hit her there.. I looked out the door and told her to stop. When she first started playing with my daughter , I thought she seemed odd, as she was soo introverted . In addition, she has problems with her bowels. her mother told me, but i do not know the details. I found the whold hose thing in public to be very wierd and am thinking she may have been sexually molested.. thoughts??

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010):

Hold on here! You are running to conclusions!

At that age I played with my year younger brother with the water hose. We'd strip naked and run around the yard while I tried to spray his genitals and vice versa! It hurt down there and that was part of the fun. I didn't even realize how 'private' the genitals really are.

Every family is different. Every child is different. See might have just been doing that for no reason at all, she might have liked the feeling as she's discovering new feelings down there. Who knows. But making assumptions is simply wrong. Especially when it comes to something like this.

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A female reader, Oregongrl1 United States +, writes (30 August 2010):

I would bring it to her mother's attent! she probably doesn't know? and maybe someone else seeing the same thing could confirm her thoughts. your a mother, do whats right i know i would.

Good Luck!

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A female reader, LLindy87 United States +, writes (30 August 2010):

LLindy87 agony auntit could be normal, her just discovering herself. However, the bowel thing is concerning. I think you shouldn't say anything until you have more facts, don't jump to conclusions.

But that this is not your daughter and you don't know her medical history (i'm assuming here) so her bowel issues could be medical, like overactive bladder. I had a friend growing up who had to wear those overnight panty things because she couldn't control her bladder that well.

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A female reader, lil-kitten-02 United States +, writes (30 August 2010):

lil-kitten-02 agony auntDont jump to conclusions right away. This child has probably "discovered" her feelings down there. I was about nine when that happened and i wasnt molested. Children developed differently. Casually ask her mother about "the talk" advice to get the inside scoop. Dont break up your daughters friendship over puberty nonsense. Best advice: just keep her distracted around your daughter until she is old enough to understand.

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (30 August 2010):

tennisstar88 agony auntThat's a serious assumption to make. All it is an assumption, you don't have any facts. I don't know how sexually informed kids are these days but when I was that age when we discovered our dad's stash of playboys we were grossed out but intrigued. She's ten she doesn't understand what she is doing with that hose is a sexual gesture. And the bowel movements, that could be a lack of fiber issue. Never assume.

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A male reader, The Realist Canada +, writes (30 August 2010):

The Realist agony auntThat doesn't really add up to sexual assult at all. All children start to learn about their sexuality very young on their own. She was doing something that felt good to her and that she hasn't learned isn't appropriate for being in public. The bowel issues could be a problem since birth and I wouldn't make a big deal about it, it may make this girl feel really bad about herself.

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