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I think my boyfriend is gay and is confused!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Cheating, Dating, Friends, Gay relationships, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 September 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 10 September 2008)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have a boyfriend that I have lived with for 8 years whom I have supported in every sense of the word...financially, emotionally etc. Has not worked consistently and is constantly on the computer at home, while I work my butt off to pay all the bills and everything in the house. He recently came to me with a lame story that his friend wanted him to come to Thailand and that he had already paid for his trip. I found an email from his sister telling him that he should not fight for me and that he should live his life and that there so many women out there for him. That he should go and have a good time and to be careful with the Thai women haha

I am planning to throw him out when he returns. I feel an overwhelming sensation that my boyfriend might be bi-sexualis caught up in some weird bi-sexual trip as the friend who invited him and paid for his trip is bi-sexual and for some reason has always had a hold on him.

I need advice, I have analyzed our relationship and this other guy has always seems to put things in his head. I think my boyfriend might be gay and just does not want to admit it. I care for him, but I think I feel sorry for him. What should I do?

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (10 September 2008):

LazyGuy agony auntI think it is you that is confused. Come on, the guy is a sponge. Who cares wether is gay, hetero, bi or does it with chickens, he is draining you dry.

Get rid of him. Do you really think that if he sorts out his sexual idenity he will change? Tell me, is denial a nice place to life in?

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A female reader, PsyCookie United States +, writes (10 September 2008):

PsyCookie agony auntI give you the warning before hand that I might sound harsh but...

Are you serious?

I think the confused person is you.

Ok, let's get things into account:

-You pay for everything, in fact, you financially sustain him.

-He doesn't work.

-He does NOTHING around the house

-He suspiciously spends hours on the computer

-He doesn't even sustain you emotionally

-He recently came up with a lame story about going to Thailand

-His family clealy hates you and think you manipulate him.

-It seems you're the only one who puts effort into the relationship

-He has a "male" friend that wants him to go to Thailad for no reason.

Seriously, are you this gullible? Is your self-esteem so bad that you're willing to spend time with a guy who clearly doesn't want you and who is likely already cheating on you?

Come on! Open your eyes and see what kind of man he is. Even if he didn't cheat on you, it's still so very clear that he's only with you because you take care of him.

You're not his lover, you're his MOMMY.

So what I suggest you to do is kick him out off the house, tell him to never come back and forget about him. After this, go out with your girl friends and go shopping, the spa, and fix your nails. Just have a great time forgetting about this guy.

Later, if you want, have a make-over and go and socialize with other guys and find that guy who will treat you right and unlike this guy, will love you.

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