A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:i believe my 15 yr old son has been looking at my few porn dvd collections which i kept well away from view in my room. i saw they ave been disturbed and one found under d bed where it should not be(maybe left in a hurry)I ave now gotten rid of all of them but said nothing to him....How do i handle this
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male
reader, ChaseTerrier  +, writes (8 September 2008):
Don't get too upset. Sons been looking at their father's porn ever since forever. I am pretty sure that it been that way ever since cavemen were drawing porn on their caves wall.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2008): you should get him some of his one and tell him it is normal but whatever happens do not get angery
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A
male
reader, leonard j, Douglas  +, writes (20 December 2007):
It's too bad that for most of us growing up that sex still is a dirty word. Why don't you and your son get together and talk about sex, wished my folks would have done that.when i needed it, but sad to say sex is still a dirty word, and not much has changed in my 80,years of living. He no doubt is learning his misguided sexuality from your Porn,where you should be the one who is teaching him. Porn can be helpful to any relationship, why? Because parents are,in most cases, too ashamed to teach their own children about Human-Sexuality.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks all. i really appreciate ur advices..they ave helped in my acceptance of the situation...i ave never discussed anything to do with sex with him...apart from school work....we chat more about football...he supports a different club from mine and we argue a lot about that...i'll welcome more advice though..
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A
female
reader, ladycharm +, writes (19 December 2007):
 okay first its not unusal for teenage boys to look at porn they could be curious about certain things but ashamed to ask you about them maybe you could have a man talk to him about it he already probley knows you found them just sit down and make sure you talk about it calmley and when he feels ready let him no that you wont be mad or anagry when he decides to talk about it make sure he knows its pefectly normal and you love him good luck
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A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (19 December 2007):
 Being a little older than him i wouldnt bring it up. Teens would look at porn no matter the fact you took away yours should let him know subtly that you know what he did. If you were to bring it up as his mother he would be mortified, and would be embarresed and you would proberly not talk until it dies down.
I dont think you need to be worried as teens will look at porn but talking to him would be to embarrasing. Just take away your porn.
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (19 December 2007):
 To be honest i wouldnt talk to him about it boys look at porn its a natural part of growing up you look at it so he probably thinks it is ok,imagine how embarresed he would be if you started to talk to him about it i doubt you will get many words or eye contact from him for a month i imagine you would probably be embarressed to, anyway im sure when you were 15 you were curious about women and sex and might even watched a few movies yourself,so dont worry about it you have got rid of it so he wont watch yours anymore anyway.
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female
reader, hello1 +, writes (19 December 2007):
 I think you should leave it, just because his looking at porn dosen't mean he's having sex. Remove the porn and don't speak about it, he'll will realise you removed it.
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A
female
reader, leanne.od +, writes (19 December 2007):
 think back to when you were 15 years old, and i'll bet you couldn't honestly say you never looked at any porn. he's at an age where he's getting to grips with sex and puberty has kicked in and he wants to learn more. there's no real harm in porn, and yes all dad's hate the thought of their sons watching it, looking at magazines, and god forbid them actually having sex, but unfortunatly it's all part of growing up. it's embarrassing for him because he'll know you have caught him, having removed all the dvd's, but if you talk to him, tell him it's natural for him to be inquizative and want to watch things, don't make it sound like he has done a terrible thing because then he will tell you that you are a hypocrite, being that the dvd's are yours. explain that is still a bit young for the contents on the dvd's and when he is older, he will be able to buy his own.
whether you supply him with porn, or he gets it himself, you won't be able to completely ban him from looking at porn, but you can explain the birds and the bees so he is safe when he starts experimenting for real.
good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2007): Is there a reason that you can't simply ask him?
If he is looking, then that is normal for a boy his age, yes?
I would be more worried if he wasn't interested in sex.
If you really don't want him looking, then you need to either get rid of the dvd's or lock them up somewhere.
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A
male
reader, weldman +, writes (19 December 2007):
sir,
im a 20 year old male that looked at my dads porn. when my dad found out, personally he did it the right way. he asked me one day while we were fishing man to man. little he knew i was lookin at porn at age 11. your sons growin up, 15 was a very emotional time. sex comes into play, stuff like that. id approach him when it is JUST man to man. he will be a lil embarressed at first but just make sure he knows thats you were the same way. (your the one that had it).or kinda in a way drop down to his level. tell some dirty jokes, get him relaxed about talkin to you about r rated material. he will open you after a while.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2007): Let him.
I mean come on, he's 15. He's gonna look at porn. Better your classy, well spent for collection then the weird shit on the net right?
Flynn 24
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2007): Being of around that age, i know for a fact that myself and ALL of my friends have been looking at porn and/or masturbating for at least a year or two.
i know this may be hard to deal with, as you may still viewing him as "your little boy", but he is nearly at an age where he will be legal to have sexual relations with other people, and it is quite possible he will.
If you do not like him looking at your personal collection, tell him that you would prefer him not to look through your personal things, and possbily even give him a dvd or two, would be best done in a lighthearted way.
i hope this helps.
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