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I think I'm caught in what would be called a roundabout, complicated form of porn addiction

Tagged as: Big Questions, Pornography<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 July 2019) 3 Answers - (Newest, 3 August 2019)
A male Australia age 18-21, *ollowingthepath writes:

Hi everyone. I am sixteen years old. I am a normal bloke, I think. Or maybe I am not. I have been reading this website a lot for the past one week. I generally understand that a lot guys struggle with porn. I also understand that porn has detrimental effects on the mind.

I think I have a porn addiction problem, or maybe I do not. I can't discuss this with my mates, they might expose my dark secret.

About two years ago my parents caught me looking at pictures of naked women on my phone. I received a long lecture fro my them. But my parents didn't confiscate my phone. My mom said I have disappointed her it is a very sinful thing to do and how would I feel if she paraded naked whenever my friends came over to our house. She said she would stop policing my phone use because there would be other ways I can secretly look at porn anyway if I were determined, but she hoped I would not let her down again.

I haven't looked at porn since then. However I find that there is too much temptation in this modern world. My current "porn" comes from watching mainstream Hollywood movies. I find that nudity in movies arouse me too much. As much as I try, I cannot prevent my self from masturbating after watching a nude scene. Although I tell myself it is not really porn, I feel that it is controlling me. Like an addiction.

I once watched the same movie in the cinema three times just to see the actress naked at the end of the movie. Immediately after the movie ended I bought another ticket. Over the course of the the week I couldn't stop thinking about the actress I would fantasize about her during school hours and sneak off to the toilet to masturbate often three times a day. I couldn't even concentrate during classes. The next weekend I bought another ticket just to see her naked again. Same movie.

I develop crushes on actresses easily. I would go to the DVD rental and rent all movies a particular actress has starred in, hoping to see more of her naked.

It usually follows a pattern. I unexpectedly see an actress naked for the first time on the big screen. Then I develop a crush on her, or maybe an obsession. I start renting her movies one by one, masturbating all the way. After I have exhausted all her nude scenes, I manage to refrain from masturbating for a while, maybe a month. Then I see another actress naked in the cinema, and the cycle repeats.

Is this a normal thing all guys go through?

Will this addiction gradually go away? I guess I am still young maybe I am still adapting? I went through puberty at thirteen, maybe quite late for a male.

Any suggestions for me to cope better?

Are the negative effects of what I am doing the same as looking at real porn? Like watching people having real sex? Sometimes the nude scenes in movies do not feature sex, just the actress taking a shower, or having a conversation while naked.

View related questions: crush, porn

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2019):

In my opinion it’s very strange that your mother should create an association in your mind between porn and her naked around your friends. Did the porn you were watching feature a ‘milf’ storyline? If so, fantasy is nothing to worry about at all and perfectly natural. Please try to forget that association as a scare tactic.

You may need counselling. It sounds like you’ve been brought up with some conflicted conservative beliefs. While you’re desperately trying to force your urges down and repress them, your body is that of a human teenage boy. The more guilt and shame you feel around your sexuality, the weirder it gets. Relax.

Some things we do in private, and that’s not anyone else’s business - even God or your parents. The more comfortable you become with being a natural, sexual person, the less compulsive your urges will feel. Are you confident speaking to real girls? Are you kind and respectful? Those are the important things.

To be quite honest, I’m sure most of our husbands are spending time in the bathroom watching porn every now and then.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2019):

I mostly agree with Honey Pie that your are wrestling with homones, at your age but masturbating during the school day is not normal. You can do that at home after school. Viewing the same movie in a cinema to keep seeing the same nude scene is excessive expensive and obsessive. You do not mention your dad. If he is in the picture, you should show your post to him and accept his guidence. If you have no relationship with your dad, you should show your post, to your mom, and ask for help dealing with all of this. I know man! That just seems way too embarrassing and way too risky. Hear me Son! Your mother, is the best friend that you have, or ever will have! I know that you do not want to disappoint her but you showing her the courage and respect to go to her with your potential problem, will more than offset any disappointment. Now if you take an interest in real girls, from school, the desire for porn will fade away. Dates, phone calls, texting, dances, and visiting a girlfriends house, all beat the movies!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (2 August 2019):

Honeypie agony auntI think you are perhaps having some slightly obsessive behaviors but not abnormal for you age.

And of course there is the lack of self-control that comes with the rush of hormones and adapting to them. You are 16 so your body is still changing and your hormones are probably still not on an even keel. You are not THROUGH puberty just yet. there is no magical age where things are totally in an equilibrium.

Having to masturbate 3x times while in school seems excessive to me.

But I think it's less of a "porn" addiction and more to do with all the changes in your body and brain that you can't quite keep up with.

Self-control, however, is something you need to work on or this will take over your life. OK so you saw a naked actress... so what? Women have boobs, men don't. For you to go STRAIGHT to sexual urges is showing your lack of self control and perhaps some immaturity.

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/

has a lot of info you might take a gander at.

Other than the lack of self control (work on that) I think you are just a teenager with hormones raging.

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