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I think I'm adopted, what do I need for DNA tests?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 February 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 25 February 2010)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

hi there everyone

i think that i am adopted but i am not sure i don't want to ask my parents because they may get upset if i am wrong and if i am right they may deny it.

i was going to have a dna test but i was thinking that do i need my mum and dad's dna as well as my own or can i find out who my parents are just from my dna

thank you for all your help in advance

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A female reader, Not My Name Australia +, writes (25 February 2010):

Not My Name agony auntSorry to put a dampner on all, ..but my adopted ex's birth certificate has his adoptive parents name's on it.

There is an original with the biological parents and his birth name,... but once the adoption was legalized in court, another BC was issued which to read would suggest the adoptive parents were the only one's. Maybe this is diff in diff countries????

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2010):

if you have a birth cirtificate with your parents name on it then you are not adopted. so your mom is your real mom and your dad might not be your biological dad. so to find out if your dad is your real dad then you would need a dna test. a typical dna test would be a blood test, the only reason dna tests are done without blood is when there is no blood available like in a murder case with no body. DNA tests are very expensive, a typical adult can not afford one.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2010):

Nobody else has mentioned this, so... there is some risk in checking out your DNA (or even your blood-type): you could find that your mom is you mom but your dad isn't your dad. Geneticists won't say so (very loudly) in public, but population surveys of DNA strongly suggest that around 5-10% of kids born actually have a different father than claimed... That could be a very hurtful thing for you or your parents to find out.

Not saying its likely, just that there are risks in such investigations. Sometimes its better to remember that they raised you and love you and not worry to much about the genetics.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (13 February 2010):

Just tell them you need to see your birth certificate for a school project on family history.

If their names are on there, then you are not adopted.

Sorry hun, you'll just have to put up with the parents you have.

Good Luck!! xx

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A female reader, Not My Name Australia +, writes (13 February 2010):

Not My Name agony auntAll adoptions are on record. There should be a central body that assists people wanting to get in contact with birth relatives. You don;t have to follow through with that part if you don't wish, but they should be able to provide you with information. Obviously a birth name would be ideal, but they will have on record any name changes that may have been given to you and should be able to check from that.

My ex was adopted, and out of the blue when over 30, got a letter from such an agency as his biological sister had put in a search for him. She only found out because she got pregnant, had AB- blood, was advised to have a family member consent to being a blood donor should any mishaps occur in labour, and then found out her parents could not possibly be her parents because they both had the most common O+ blood which is dominant over her blood type.

She did not have any info but her current name to start with, but from her name, the agency were able to look up her birth name, cross referenced it to my ex's birth name and told her she had a brother, checked the court records stating what his name had been changed to by his new family, and then just looked up his address through the electoral role. She only contacted him, not the parents, and yes he was able to be her blood donor.

Finding the biological mother was even easier. That just took opening the phone book and looking up her name and location, and the first call made got my ex through to an Aunty, she rang his mother, and half an hour later his mother rang him.

There really is quite a lot of info kept on record, so save your money on the expensive dna test, and just get a search done. That may even be free. Try contacting the place that issues birth certificates, explain you want adoption information, and they should be able to put you on the right people with access to all the info.

As said, you do not have to follow through with contacting a biological family, but you can at least confirm that you are adopted if that is the case.

Really tho, why don't you just sit your parents down and just ask them. Yes, some get upset at the thought of their kids knowing, or more usually feel threatened that you may bond with the biological family over them, but they get over it, and in most cases expect the day of questioning would one day come. Just make sure you give them plenty of reassurance that they are your family and you love them. Particularly your mum - some mum's tend to get a bit more touchy initially.

Good Luck :-)

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A male reader, The Realist Canada +, writes (13 February 2010):

The Realist agony auntYou would need some of their DNA which can be obtained from a hair of theirs or basicaly anything with their saliva. I would recommend the hair then just store it in a zip lock bag then find out where they do genetic testing in your area. I don't know how much it costs but I can't imagine it being too much since the procedure is very easy with the technology now.

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A female reader, VictoriaK United States +, writes (13 February 2010):

VictoriaK agony auntThere's actually a less "abrasive" way of finding out more....check out your blood type....ask your mom and dad their blood type. If you are O (negative or positive) and they are as well, then they very well could be your parents. Now, if you have a rare blood type, lets say AB and your parents are both O, then they aren't your parents....you can check it out on google. That should give you a better idea of what I'm trying to convey. There are also ways that you would be able to find out such as Take your moms hairbrush, and your dads and get it DNA tested....however, my question is, do you REALLY want to know if you were adopted? Your parents have no doubt given you tender love and care. What if you were to find out that they weren't your paternal parents? Would you love them any differently? You have a lot of things to consider when thinking about this. If you would like to talk more, you can message me. Just remember that even if they may not be your biological parents, that they have loved you just as any mother and father would. Also, if it really bothers you, then maybe you should talk to them. If they get upset, explain why you feel the way you do. You should be able to speak with them openly.

Good luck and Best Wishes to you,

Victoria

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