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I think he's lost interest in me but I'm afraid to leave him

Tagged as: Big Questions, Faded love, Long distance, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 October 2014) 3 Answers - (Newest, 19 October 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hey guys.. I have a "boyfriend" but it's a long distance relationship and he tells me he loves me, usually just by words.. He asked me for nudes and I said no way but he kept insisting and saying he loves me. I used to be a shy and quiet girl but I kinda fell for his words once and sent him nudes like there was no tmrw and he sent me some too but I woke up and now I've told him am not comfortable with nudes but every now and then he still asks but he stopped sending me his.

He hasn't called me in months and we are only happy when he's in the mood. If not, we just argue all the time. Sometimes he gets really sweet and other times he's cold.

Sometimes I think he has no feelings for me but I dumped him twice and he came back saying he's sorry and that he cant live without me. And whenever I tell him to delete my nudes, he says he has but am not sure at all.

He refused to put our relationship publicly on websites but insists that everyone knows about us..

I've never met him and honestly, I dont think I ever will... I got too attached to him and he has changed me negatively. But idk how to leave because I feel like something is missing when I leave.

Am just afraid he'll post my pics everywhere if I leave him but if I dont, I'll change soo much. No one will recognise me. Any help?

View related questions: hasn't called, in the mood, long distance, shy

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (19 October 2014):

Honeypie agony auntMy advice?

Block his number, unfriend him and block him on social website, send him an e-mail letting him know that you are going to cu the contact, that you feel pressured into doing things you AREN'T comfortable and you don't see the relationship going anywhere so you are ending it. Tell him you will delete ALL the nudes he sent you and that you HOPE he has enough respect for you to do the same with YOUR nudes.

THEN you CUT THE CONTACT and BLOCK him.

You will MISS something when you end it, but at least it won't be your self-respect and dignity. In time you will realize that this "whatever" it was wasn't reality. It is NOT "real" relationship, it's two people clinging on to some online fantasy.

Stop wasting your time with this guy, and STOP letter some STRANGER (because you really DO NOT know him) use you.

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A female reader, WhenCowsAttack United States +, writes (19 October 2014):

This is not a relationship, honey, this is just a fantasy turned nightmare. You are addicted to the idea of it, and you're going to have to work hard to move past it. ALL addiction is difficult to get past, and you have the added worry of the photos. I don't know what the laws are like in your country, in mine he could be charged with child porn for posting them.

Maybe you can just let this gradually fade away. If he doesn't contact you for months at a time, just taper off and let it die a natural death. No need for some super dramatic breakup show, after all you've never met him, and since it's unlikely you ever will he won't even know if you start dating a real live guy, one that you can see, touch, and kiss.

Best of luck, sweetie.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2014):

If you cannot see yourself in this relationship so it is not worth it ..l know it will hurt to leave him but just do you and be happy

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