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I think her behavior was very disrespectful and self-centered

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Question - (5 November 2010) 8 Answers - (Newest, 5 November 2010)
A male United States age 36-40, *eedguidance writes:

Yesterday, I got home from work and drove to go eat dinner with her. During the dinner, she said she had cravings for ice cream afterward. I told her we can go to our usual place and get some.

We walked to the car after finishing dinner, and she asked if I really want ice cream too. I said yes. We stopped at a red light, which is about 100ft from the ice cream parking lot, and she made comment that she forgot about yogurt (which is at a different place).

I needed to make a left turn into the parking lot, but there were pedestrians crossing. I was focusing on making the turn, so I didn’t hear what my girlfriend said just moment before me making the turn. As I was about to make the turn, she said in a loud voice “what are you doing?” And then she said, “I want yogurt.” And then she accused me that I had ignored her. I then told her that I did not hear it and we can get still get yogurt. But she kept insisting that I had ignored her and got mad. She then said she would get it herself later.

I proceeded to park the car and got my ice cream (and also one for her) and then took her home. She refused to take the ice cream, so I took both cups home. We are not speaking with each other right now. I think her behavior was very disrespectful and self-centered. Rather than saying, “Let’s get yogurt once we get your ice cream,” she went on to put words into my mouth and throwing accusation that I ignored her.

What should I do now? We were supposed to go to the mall today. She’s 23. I’m 24.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (5 November 2010):

CindyCares agony aunt Yes yes of course, she acted childish and bratty and all what the other Aunts said.

Yet, I have a sneaky suspicion... Is this the first time you don't hear things that she says ?...

Some men are incapable of multitasking so whenever they think of something, or do something, even something simple and routine, they just shut the audio. That used to drive me NUTS.

It used to go like this : I asked my husband something like," I am making coffe, would you like a cup ? " Silence. I thought he hadn't heard and repeated the question. Silence again. I repeated the question much louder and " Why are you screaming, I heard you ". So, if you heard me why didn't you answer ? . "Because I was washing my hands ".

The best was the sandwich episode. I asked him, please go to the deli and get some sandwiches. Any kind is fine, except with tuna.

He comes back with a huge tray with twelve tuna sandwiches. To my remonstrations, he seraphically answered : Hey, you said "tuna".

Aaaargh !

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A male reader, LovelessAct1 United States +, writes (5 November 2010):

Dude, I don't need to tell you that men's brains have a single focus: whatever is in front of them. We are not multi-taskers. That's a scientific fact. If our focus is one thing, everything else is drowned out until that task is complete. Let her know that this is a very common difference between the male and female psyche and that those differences lead to many misunderstandings between even the most loving couples.

You're right. She was out of line, but I guarantee right now she is waiting it out. She wants you to apologize before you can talk again. Whether you do or not is completely up to you. Either way, if she is uneducated about the male/female brain differences, do a quick Google search and have her take a look. Maybe she'll be more understanding next time there is a miscommunication.

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (5 November 2010):

tennisstar88 agony auntShe threw a tantrum over yogurt? Reminds me of that snotty girl, Veruca on Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.."But Daddy, I want it nowww!"

Anyway, you already explained to her the logics..since we're at the ice cream spot let's get the ice cream since you put the idea in my head, and then get your yogurt which you decided at the last minute you wanted. I see compromise there, but no. She wanted yogurt and she wanted it now. Hope the yogurt place was closed when she went to go get some.

I'd wait till she calls you with an apology about her behavior. She needs to learn to act her age, and not like a toddler.

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A female reader, Stayc63088 United States +, writes (5 November 2010):

Stayc63088 agony auntAgreed with both posters but must add that you sound like a very sweet boyfriend! To get her ice cream anyway even though she was all pissy... So sweet. She needs to grow up. I can't even understand such behavior.

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A female reader, Denise32 United States +, writes (5 November 2010):

Denise32 agony auntWhew! She acted like a spoiled brat. Very rude and inconsiderate.

I wonder what bee got in her hair to drive her to behave as she did........even if she had had a bad day and was feeling aggravated, acting up like that was totally uneccessary. Point out to her that if her day WAS bad, she might have said so, rather than acting up.......

I agree with quiet-echo, just let her stew in her own juices for a few days, and see if she calls you.......I really hope she won't call you up and start having a hissy fit because YOU haven't called HER......but if she does, you'll have to tell her to shape up and stop behaving so childishly. Although then she'll probably be madder than a wet hen......

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A female reader, Denise32 United States +, writes (5 November 2010):

Denise32 agony auntWhew! She acted like a spoiled brat. Very rude and inconsiderate.

I wonder what bee got in her hair to drive her to behave as she did........even if she had had a bad day and was feeling aggravated, acting up like that was totally uneccessary.

I agree with quiet-echo, just let her stew in her own juices for a few days, and see if she calls you.......I really hope she won't call you up and start having a hissy fit because YOU haven't called HER......but if she does, you'll have to tell her to shape up and stop behaving so childishly. Although then she'll probably be madder than a wet hen......

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A female reader, mizz.butterflies United States +, writes (5 November 2010):

mizz.butterflies agony auntdo not put up with this kind of behavior.

People get away with what YOU let them get away with.

U seem to be a very nice guy...and a goodlooking girl might assume she can run you over.

Dont call her. When she does call you,be cool. and say "so how is miss unacceptable behavior doing today?"

Dont have a talk with her about howwwww wrong her behavior was.

give her the little hint i suggested.

if she starts trippin be like "I dont have time for that childish B.S come back to me when u get back to ur usual self"

DO NOT ANALYZE THIS.

It will only cause her to respect you LESS.

Speak through your actions.

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A female reader, frogrus Ukraine +, writes (5 November 2010):

frogrus agony auntYour girl seems bitchy, but it could be something more behind it. Maybe, you don't pay enough attention to her aka compliments, little goofy presents, romantic talks...something that will make her feel dear to you. My bf is super ignorant sometimes that makes me bitchy and emotional in the situations, normally I wouldn't even notice.

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