A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I have never done anything like this before so I hope it works! I am sorry if its long winded.I need some advice. There is this guy who I work with who I really like but he is giving off really mixed signals, it doesnt help that he isnt English although he does speak good English.Basically I am very shy and dont really like to get into converstaion with someone I dont know.This guy always used to say Hello to me whether it be infornt of all his mates at work or just passing me by in the corridor. I tried to just ignore it out of shyness but he just kept saying hello.I had heard some rumours that he liked me so I asked a friend at work to see if they could find out.It didnt go to well, he didnt really answer so I got really embaressed but my friend gave me his number and I text him anyway.He never text back....now I know its not looking good but then something happened. I dont really know what but we started texting eachother, then we were up all night on the phone to eachother and talking to eachother at work loads.But even if I asked him out for a drink or if I was in town see if he wanted to come hang out he would always say no!I got really disheartened with this so I kind of stopped talking to him, he got moved at work to somewhere I never go so I never saw him and the texting kind of stopped.But then a few weeks ago we went out for a works meal, the moment he walked in he said hey to me, I kept seeing him looking my way and then after a couple flirty conversations hes friend told me he knew he was being really flirty but then towards the end of the night when I group of us were leaving I asked if he wanted to join us and he said no???I am not being big headed but I know he likes me, I get alot of comments at work about how attractive I am. All his mates tell me they think he's an idiot for not ever coming out with me but I am starting to think maybe I am reading this all wrong?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, romany +, writes (22 November 2010):
 I dont think your wrong, but he sounds like he is struggling with himself, a committment phobe maybe, or just unstable in his personal life that he feels he is not in position to commit.
I think if you have an open communication with him now, just ask, say to him, that you see him as a friend and would like to get him better, that you've have reports from mates he likes you, but his hot and cold actions are confusing you, tell him you like him too and would like to spend more time with him alone, nothing heavy, a coffee at lunch time perhaps.
Whichever answer you get will put your mind at rest, and if its good news, yay go you, if its bad news, focus on the bonus of how you just beat your shyness and be glad you have answer.
If he doesn't reply, realise he is either a game player or just not ready, and continue your life without giving him much thought. If he is seriously interested, he will be back.
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