| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi, My fiancee and I have been together just over a year. We dont live together yet but were planning on it soon.We have had some really amazing times and also some rocky times. He is charming and tells me he loves me alot everyday. However, he has many friends that take up alot of his time. Sometimes when we chat on social media I'm waiting for his reply and I will be waiting and finally say, " are you talking to your friend"? He gets agitated and tells me I'm insecure that I think it's a woman. I don't think it's a female , I think its a Male. I'm not sure how he comes to that conclusion. He also says I complain too much. I really don't I'm very easy going. I try to explain to him if were in the middle of a conversation and he is still is online talking to someone else just let me know so I can message him later instead of waiting. If I'm online he will message me and say talk to whoever you want to. Out of no where. So I think he is the one with some jealousy issues. My question is how do I resolve him over reacting to things?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2019): Its impossible to change someone elses behaviour.You can only change your attitude to him.Your intuition is warning you that there may be some issues with this guy but it all seems so innocent that you are starting to doubt yourself.Dont!You must believe in yourself.He isnt being as straight forward and upfront as you would like.The thing thats upsetting you is that you ask a perfectly innocent question and he becomes agitated.Really you would prefer a guy who has a straightforward answer but this guy doesnt.Then he deflects his guilt onto you by telling you that its your problem and you are insecure.Actually, no, you are not insecure but you expect a higher standard from this guy.He is not capable of answering a simple question in a friendly manner.This indicates that he has a personality problem such as being a narcisist or he is just dishonest or his manner of communication isnt compatible with your own.I think it most likely that you would prefer a guy who was open to talking just to yourself while courting you.But guys come in many shapes, styles and attitudes so in answer to your question : yes, this is a red flag.If he stresses over a direct question how would he react over a more serious issue?Perhaps he is not compatible enough for you in the long run.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2019): Its impossible to change someone elses behaviour.You can only change your attitude to him.Your intuition is warning you that there may be some issues with this guy but it all seems so innocent that you are starting to doubt yourself.Dont!You must believe in yourself.He isnt being as straight forward and upfront as you would like.The thing thats upsetting you is that you ask a perfectly innocent question and he becomes agitated.Really you would prefer a guy who has a straightforward answer but this guy doesnt.Then he deflects his guilt onto you by telling you that its your problem and you are insecure.Actually, no, you are not insecure but you expect a higher standard from this guy.He is not capable of answering a simple question in a friendly manner.This indicates that he has a personality problem such as being a narcisist or he is just dishonest or his manner of communication isnt compatible with your own.I think it most likely that you would prefer a guy who was open to talking just to yourself while courting you.But guys come in many shapes, styles and attitudes so in answer to your question : yes, this is a red flag.If he stresses over a direct question how would he react over a more serious issue?Perhaps he is not compatible enough for you in the long run.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2019): I don't feel like there's enough information to go off here. Does this jealousy appear in any other way in your relationship or is it just whenever you're talking online? Why do you ask him who he's talking to? What does he mean when he says 'talk to whoever you want'. It all sounds a bit confusing.
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