A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've known the guy I'm dating for well over 14 years and we have been dating for 5 months. The thing is I have this extremely strong feeling that he is 'the one'. Me and this guy have so much in common, the good things, mind you. There have been times before we dated where we would see each other at the movie theatre for the same movie at times, but one or the other of us were always dating someone. But there was a movie we both happened to be at alone, and we sat together, unfortunately I had been dating someone then. I thought at that moment that I wish I had been single so I could have persued him then. There was a time, about a year after my previous boyfriend broke up with me that we seen each other at the theatre again. Different movies, but it was one of the LEAST busy days I'd ever been to the movies. My movie got over after his and he was still there, talking to one of the employees, and we ended up talking for over an hour. It was after this that we started dating. I honetly think The Fates brought us to each other, as he had been single for over a year, too. Problem for me now... I want to talk to him about our future and what we both want from the relationship. We both love each other so much, and are planning to go on vacation together in 2 weeks. I just don't know how to start up talking to him about it, it scares me a bit because the last time I got that 'serious' with a guy I ended up getting hurt really bad. How do I ask him if he has that same 'you are the one' feeling? We have such a good relationship and I don't want to mess it up by talking to him the wrong way. Please, help me!
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female
reader, Psyche +, writes (22 February 2007):
its too soon to have such a heavy talk. I know what you mean by feeling that he is "the one" but I have learned that there really is no such thing. And it really places a lot of stress on a relationship. I think if you can be totally present and in the moment with him you will discover amazing depth to your relationship. Try not to cage him in your heart. I know you don't see "the one" that way, but guys tend to interpret our such labels as traps. Just love him and let things unfold.
Trust me, if he is the guy you are meant to be with you will. And in years to come you will look back and be grateful that you didn't rush the "in love" part - because no matter how healthy your relationship - the infatuation ends.
Peace
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI believe I failed to mention that we've both had strong feelings for each other for around 6 years.
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A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (22 February 2007):
 Hey, enjoy your vacation and don't start to put pressure on him when you've only been together 5 months. Guys don't like pressure like this so be very careful here. What you could do is ask him if he believes in soul mates. That everyone has that special someone out there just waiting to find them. Get his point of view on it and see how he answers. If you want to (and he doesn't say it first) then let him know that you think HE is YOUR soul mate and see his reply.
Don't start asking him about the future just yet. It might make him run in the opposite direction.
Eve
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