A
female
age
41-50,
*elanova
writes:I have been dating this gentleman for 3 weeks now. We met online and seem to have a lot in common. We both have young children, (6 years and under) and I have issues with meeting or introducing children to a potential relationship before I know if it's going to be serious or lasting. Last night we had planned to meet at his house for dinner, when I got there he had his children with him. I felt a little weird about this, I had a great time with his two beautiful kids, I work with small children so they warm up to me quickly. But, I feel like this my have been a little too soon and I feel like he should have told me he was going to have his kids there. Of course, I had a wonderful time, but I feel like it might be moving to quick when there are children involved, and I must honestly say, I'm not ready to introduce him to my daughter. Am I making too much out of this? Or does it seem odd?Thank you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2009): I can't commend you enough for your attitude. Having parents split up is plenty hard on kids without having serial adults flit through their lives as their parents get back to dating. Bravo!
Personally I think three weeks is crazy early. Multiply by 10 or 20, and then maybe. Nevertheless, it was his choice and it sounds like you handled it beautifully. As to your kids meeting him, stick to your guns. Do what you think is best for your kids, and don't feel pressured because he already took the plunge.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2009): I completely agree with you about introducing young children to potential suitors, it can be confusing and painful for the child to get attached to someone who may or may not be there for long.
I do think it is individual preference on how soon to do that. I would say that him surprising you with meeting his children was not an insult to you, but a way to let you know that he has some more serious intentions in mind. I wouldn't take it to seriously though, and you just have to set your boundaries with him by telling him what you just said here about introducing him or any date to your daughtere....you don't owe him the same that he showed you. It is all about respecting and honoring your personal boundaries.
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