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I suspect he’s trying to cheat on her with me. Should I confront him?

Tagged as: Cheating, Online dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 March 2019) 4 Answers - (Newest, 9 March 2019)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I matched with his guy on a dating site a couple months ago and give him my number. He clearly only wants to hook up and that's ok with me because I'm not trying to date him, just wanna have some fun with him. We have yet to meet in person but I did see him at the store today and I'm positive its him (same tattoos as his pics) He was with a girl and a little kid.

Now, when we matched I did check FB and Insta to make sure he is real and there were no pics of a kid or girlfriend and it said he was single. Well about two weeks later, he deleted all social media, which I thought was a little odd. I do not think he is married because he keeps inviting me over to HIS place and no ring so the girl I saw him with is either just a friend with a kid or his girlfriend. Most likely its his girlfriend because he only texts me on the weekends late at night so something is definitely off. I don't talk to him very often because I'm really not trying to get to know him but I am very attracted to him and would love a hot passionate night with him but if he's trying to cheat on her with me, I want to slap him or throw a drink in his face. I think that if I ask him over text, he's just gonna deny it or ignore me altogether and I don't wanna let him think that its ok or get away with that so should I take a risk and meet him in person?

View related questions: tattoo, text

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (9 March 2019):

N91 agony auntIf you’re this bothered by the whole scenario then why not just block him and move on? Is a fuck really worth the hassle of trying to work out who this mystery woman is? There’s plenty of other guys out there you could have sex with.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (7 March 2019):

Honeypie agony auntCould be his sister and nephew/niece. Could be his GF/child or a friend and her kid. It's impossible to guess.

But for me the "clincher" is that he ONLY texts you late at night on weekends. THAT sounds pretty odd.

I'd just block this one and try again on the dating site.

The thing is, IF it's obvious that you aren't looking for anything serious, it's NOT just going to be single guy looking for a quick hook up, you will definitely get the married and taken ones too.

It's not your job to police what men do. Or to teach a guy that it's not OK to cheat. HE already knows that but probably don't give a single F.

Which is why I'd just block and move on.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (7 March 2019):

YouWish agony auntASk him in an email -- "Who is the girl and the kid I saw you with at **insert store name**?"

If he hems and haws or asks you if you're stalking him, tell him that you were shopping at the store and were startled to see him, noticed that his tattoos matched his picture, and tell him that you absolutely do not date cheaters, and that if he's trying to cheat on that girl with you to just block you now and treat that girl and his son/daughter with more love and respect than that.

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (7 March 2019):

mystiquek agony auntThe smartest thing to do is to block him and delete him out of your life. Why ask for all the drama that would go along with meeting him and confronting him? He'll just lie and make up some BS story. Why involve yourself with all that unnecessary nonsense? Its up to you of course but I'd just move on.

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