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female
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NightAngel
writes: In a few days, me and my boyfriend will be having our 1 year anniversary. Recently we've both been really happy together, spending a lot of time together, and hardly even caring about the world around us. I began to worry about him getting bored of me, because of all the time we've been spending together and realized he didnt even really care about his friends anymore. He said that his friends havent been contacting him since he lost his computer, so I told him that he should go see them. We went to see his friends. Before we went I told him that he had to promise not to become his old-self. He did...He became mean, and constantly annoyed at me. We were about to break up, but somehow managed to stay together. He promised me that we would get married, and that we would live together etc. But now he's having doubts, and I cant stand all the broken promises. Can this relationship last much longer?
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female
reader, Irish49  + ♥, writes (12 August 2006):
 You may have been better off in the long run-not encouraging him to rekindle his old friendships. It appears he purposely was ignoring his old friends, for a reason. The only way this relationship will last much longer is if your bf makes a decision to 'ease back' from his old friends and re-commits to you. It's obvious that he is young and still impressionable about peer pressure and can't make mature decisions based on his love for you. And what about you? Why would you feel he's bored with this relationsip to begin with? Relationships take a lot of hard work and efforts on the part of both people..it's a 50-50 deal. And sometimes-love relationships do get stale. A couple work at this together through communication and committment. But a woman should never take the full brunt of responsibilty to making sure a relationship stays exciting and fresh. Please realize...your bf has some responsibilities here, as well. If he's shrugging off that responsibilty by treating you disrespectfully, you may have to re-assess whether he has the maturity, the integrity, the committment, the perseverance and the love for you to keep this relationship strong, irregardless of who his friends are. In other words, he can still have his friends but you are his 'number one'best friend and he should be still treating you, as such. Accept nothing less.
A
female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell +, writes (12 August 2006):
 Hey,
well. This is a problem worth answering. Guys have two selves - the single self, and the girl self.
The single Self - the guy who's not afraid to pull and loves going on a night out with the lads etc.
The Girl Self - The guy who becomes the perfect guy for you, he realises he likes you and wants to keep you, therefore he changes for you.
Being with his friends for a while has probably reminded him about being single and hanging around with his mates. If you feel he is "The One" hang onto him like crazy. Don't marry him unless you're sure that you are ready and he is the right person, thr only thing worse than marry the wrong person is trying to divorce them!
Hope this helped,
Phoebe
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