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I suck at riding my man. Can someone explain the motion to me?

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Question - (28 July 2013) 7 Answers - (Newest, 29 July 2013)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Every time I try to have sex in the woman on top position it feels awkward. I feel like I'm not moving properly and it doesn't feel good for my boyfriend. I tried to watch porn videos and read about it to learn how to move but it's not helpful. Usually he ends up just doing the motion himself from below me. Once he said that I need to move just my butt instead of my whole body. I just don't know how to do it. I think I'm so used to lying below my man without moving much that I don't know what it actually takes. Can someone explain exactly what type of motion I should do? How my arms and legs should be, what's actually moving. I noticed that in porn, only the butt is moving, how do they do that?

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (29 July 2013):

person12345 agony auntJust lean forward on your arms for support. You don't have to be using your thighs and only your thighs to make a motion. The lower down your torso is (like the closer to his chest) the easier it will be to move. You should start there and move around to experiment once you're comfortable. A lot of women also enjoy where you are basically in upside down missionary. Same position as the normal one, except with you on top. It's very easy to move in and provides a lot of contact.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (29 July 2013):

chigirl agony auntAs for the hands, place them on his chest for support. Lean on him, grab at him. Or hold on to your ancles if you are in straight sittong position. But I recommend leaning closer to him and placing your hands on his chest.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (29 July 2013):

chigirl agony auntMove your hips, not your butt... Its called thrusting. And it is the same thing you should do when he is on top. Thrust your hips to meet his thrusts. Dont lay still like a matress, that will not give you or him any sexual satisfaction. If you want to practice, lay on the floor and thrust your hips against the floor, or up in the air. Mirror is movement and fall into the same rythm once you have sex. Go slow! You can also try to lean closer to him (maybe so close you can kiss him). It might be easier for you to start moving in such a position, rather than sitting up straight. Also tell him to not move before you tell him to. Otherwise his movements might be too rough and make it difficult for you to keep up. Tell him to go.slow.

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A female reader, shrodingerscat United States +, writes (29 July 2013):

shrodingerscat agony auntHave you ever seen the dance called Twerking?

It's a dance where you specifically only move your butt up and down.

Youtube it. Practice it. Then when you can do it comfortably, try it while having sex. That's the "proper" motion.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (29 July 2013):

Back and forth is better for sure. Just rock your hips. Up and down requires practice, but rocking your hips should be easy.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2013):

Essentially, you just have to straddle, your body being at around a 90 degree angle. I find the best way to keep up momentum is by holding onto my ankles with my hands, that way i can control my pelvic area better. I would definitely ask your bf what feels good for him, as my ex used to like it up and down (in most porn the women tend to bounce uyp and down too, but perhaps that's more for a 'better view'?), however my new bf didn't seem v satisfied, he later asked me just to rock back and forth, much less tiring for me and that sends him crazy. essentially just focus on your hips. Why not practice the motion by yourself on your bed (sounds weird but seriously it's perfectly normal)?

Good luck

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (29 July 2013):

TasteofIndia agony auntHere is my advice...

You have to practice, practice, practice to build muscle in the right places and to get your stamina up. It does take a lot of practice to figure out exactly which part of your body that you need to be moving. Mostly the action is in your hips and your butt. Depends what specific movement that you're going for. Your arms need to be relatively strong too, so that they can support your body and allow your lower half to get its freak on. Where should everything be? Usually when I'm on top, I'm straddling my fella, leaning over him, my arms holding me up. As I understand it, the view is quite good from their perspective. :)

I think that watching porn is actually a good way to see how the experts are doing it. And then I think your best tactic is to shut the blinds, lock the doors and spend a little while every day practicing your grooves. Practicing by yourself might feel ridiculous, but hey - at least no one is watching, and you will get better and better. Eventually, with enough trial, error and just plain ol practice, your body will figure it out and you'll be a riding expert in no time!

Good luck!!

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