A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:This is going to be very long, but i really need help or some sort of guidance. i have nobody else to talk to about this ):So my freshman year of high school i met a sophomore girl for the first time. we always had a lot of mutual friends and went to the same school but for some reason we never really met until that year. when we first talked i noticed she had bad anxiety so always took her things and made fun of her because i liked to see her reactions :P she never liked me for it but i grew on her and we became best friends. that year we never crossed the line of friends and neither of us thought about it but talked constantly through myspace or whatever means, and hung out whenever possible. we live in different towns so when we got out of school she started asking for hugs before i had to leave.one day when i got to stay in town towards the end of school we were walking and thinking about old memories of our old friends and i stopped walking for a minute and when she asked me what was wrong i didnt say anything and just hugged her. she started crying and saying how she had never a better friend than me and she was thankful, i told her i felt the same and we just hugged and cried for awhile. when school was over for the year we did not see each other at all because i live with my brother during summer but we still talked through the internet a lot.when i started my sophomore year and we got to be together again, it was like we were even closer than before. we spent every possible moment of our lives together and we never fought once. i was always getting in trouble for not showing up for my ride home because i was with her, and when i got to stay in town she would get in trouble for coming home late but we didnt care because it was worth it. around september we started saying i love you, hugging romantically, holding hands, falling asleep in each others arms when i got to stay the night, and acting like a couple. we never actually talked about our sexuality or what we were as in a relationship, and just went with the flow which was probably a mistake.during november we were still going strong. we were in the public library one day because i had a little more time to stay in town, and she wasnt busy. i asked her to help me with and ispy book and we were having fun doing that when i stopped and hugged her then just looked at her. she leaned in to kiss my cheek like she always did so i smiled but then she didnt pull away and kissed me on the lips for the first time. it was amazing and when we were done i looked at her and asked her if she really just did that and she laughed and said sorry but i said it was ok because i had been waiting for that and we left happy as ever. she did get her phone taken away for coming home late and i got grounded for being late to my ride but we still didnt care and thought it was worth it.a few weeks later, the day before thanksgiving, we were getting hot at an empty apartment that my family owns and i told her we had to stop because i was nervous and didnt want to go to far but i said it was nice and would like to go further just not at that time and that place. she agreed so we stood there hugging in the hour or so we had left. she asked if what we were doing made us gay and i dont know why but the question hit me hard even though it was obvious. i told her i didnt know and then we just said i love you over and over until she left. later we discussed it and agreed that we were gay together and we both thought our love was real because we never intended to fall in love in the first place and we just bonded so good from the start.everything from then until about march was amazing. we still did not fight once and just lived the good life together. she told me in march she was going to prom and asked me to go, but im not a girly kind or person and the thought of going to prom is rather lame to me. she wasnt upset or anything about it and we were still good. she started going tanning in the town where her dad lives (her parents are divorced) so we never got to see each other after school and she was becoming a lot more cocky about everything, and acting like a princess. one day after lunch she was talking about how she would have a body guard at prom from the creepy guy who asked her out so i asked her who, and she said "the boy im taking" i ignored the comment and found out from a friend who she was taking. i wasnt going to ask her because i feared she would brag about it to me or something.turns out she was taking a boy who i knew she liked before i came around so i got worried about it and when i got the chance to walk with her after school one day i confronted her about it, and she told me not to worry about him and that they were just friends and would never date. i was still upset that she would even bring a boy and she didnt understand why i was upset so we started fighting constantly. when she started to stay at her dads for the weekends to spend time with the boy i got very sad and asked her mom if she was dating the boy(she didnt know) and then i ended up telling her mom everything about me and her, but her mom understood and told me things would work out if it was meant to be for us. the girl and i worked things out for a week then on the sunday she was at her dads she sent me a text saying "let me guess your mad at me again" and i told her no, why? and she said idk just a notion..on monday me and the girl were on the bus, sitting by each other. i was in a good mood after talking to her mom and working things out with her when she said she had something to tell me. i asked her if it was going to ruin my good mood and she said probably, so i immediately started crying. she said the boy had asked her out and that she said yes. while she was explaining she started crying and pleading that we still be friends but i was so upset with her that i went into complete rage and told her how fucking much it hurt that she was doing this to me and i never wanted to be friends with her and that i hoped he gave her the world then ripped it away like she did to me. when we got to the school i looked at her and told her to do whatever the fuck she wanted cause i wouldnt be around to care anymore, and the boy was just going to use her for sex and whatever else (he is a known player). she was crying very hard but i didnt care and just left.the last month of school was chaos between us. her and her boyfriend broke up just after a week of dating because he left for another girl. there was too many people involved in the situation and we fought violently with words. i was sent to the principle for it. it got so bad she had to start going to therapy and her mom called the police on me and some of my friends for harassment but my goal was to make her feel as horrible as possible so i didnt let up until school got out. (bad, i know)during that summer i realized how much of an asshole i was to her when she tried so hard to make things better between us after the boy situation. she told me she knew she made a mistake but i was still being so mean. later in june i texted her and after a few blunt responses i asked her if we had to fight forever and that i was sorry. she said she wasnt fighting just ignoring all bad situations with me. i asked if we could be friends again and she said to start out as acquaintances and go from there so i said ok... we didnt text again till july when i asked her what make her want to date the boy in the first place. she said she never thought she could get a guy like that (he was good looking, popular, just a player..) and that she had liked him for a long time, before i came into her life. i felt even worse about what i did after she told me that so i again said sorry and was determined to make things better between us.school started again this year and i am a junior and she is a senior. the first month was really rocky and there was a bit of drama but we worked though it and have been just friends since. these past few months have been rather hard for me because of the memories of what we were last year, so happy. we only have first period and lunch together. she lives at her dads house full time due to family problems, so i dont get to see her after school anymore.i want to be how we were before because its like we are perfect together. we still flirt and have that spark but other than that its not like it used to be. i miss being the one she goes to when she has a problem, i miss being her BEST friend, i miss hugging her, i miss practically everything about her. i dont know how she feels about me, im too scared to ask but by the way she acts around me i dont think its a negative feeling. we were talking the other day when it was finally just the two of us, and she said it really sucked that there was so much to talk about in so little time and i agreed, then we had to leave each other.. once again.i dont know what to do i dont want to send her a message through facebook or text her about how i feel because she loves doing that kind of thing face to face. she loves talking things through, although it makes me nervous i sill would rather talk face to face too. but there really is no time other that hour in school together, but its not really private. she has a very busy after school schedule and i dont know how to go about asking her to make time alone with me, i am so scared of her response.. but i want to make things better before she graduates... ):
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best friend, broke up, divorce, facebook, flirt, I love you, myspace, period, player, spark, text, the internet, violent Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): You know it is ok for girls to have stay overs at other girls houses. So it will be perfectly normal to ask her if she wants to stay at your house after a movie sometime soon. That is the best possible way to start a good conversation. I wish you luck.
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