| A
female
,
*rettypolly
writes: i have been in a rocky relationship for 6 years.im 36 with 3 boys. my partner is the father of the younger 2. recently i have totally gone off sex and realise i dont fancy my partner. he is very over weight and a couch potatoe where as i love excercise and keep myself well. i fell for his charm and chat, but i see he is all chat!! and very lazy and selfish. last night we had a massive fight,in front of my 12 year old. i had totally lost it after being wound up by him,and started the fight. today i have a bruised jaw and cheekbone smashed wing mirror, and he took all my money and credit cards. he took a lot of punches from me and i went totally over the top. today he wants to put it behind us and be united as he says. im not sure if this should be the end. i love him but am not in love with him. i decided a while back i will stay for the kids sake, but today i think we should split for the kids sake. he is being very demanding about making a decision to stay with him. please helpme sort my head out.
View related questions:
money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (30 October 2006):
 I definitely see the need for a separation here, whether it turns out to be permanent can be determined later. But right now I think in order to "sort your head out" you need to distance yourself a bit. The abuse on both sides is very scary especially with young kids in the home. Just tell him that it isn't permanent just yet and maybe he will be more willing to go along with it. Do some hard thinking and keep us posted on how you are doing.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2006): I think that you should leave, but it will always be your call.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2006): I was in the exactly same situation as you, please dont make the same mistakes as me your life is exactly what mine was like. I spent 15 years with that person and the years dragged on and on the fights got much worse, like you in front of the children ! the abuse just got worse. What made me finally kick the usless bum and father out of our lives was my eldest son, as soon as he turned sixteen he left he couldnt stand seeing it anymore and it broke my heart, i vowed that was it ! i wasnt going to put my kids through it anymore, it was the wake up call i needed, so please get out now, dont put u or u kids through it any longer it will get worse,i talk from experience. good luck you deserve better, and will find it just like i did i never thought i would, the only regret i had i should of done it years ago.
...............................
A
female
reader, claire_x100 +, writes (15 September 2006):
 I think you should leave its not fair on your kids especially for your 12 year old to see it, you could probably do so much better. Also its not fair on you, you need to be happy wit your self and your life. If your not in love with him theres no love there, and in the end you may start to get angry with your kids for the way hes treating you. You and Your kids desereve better!!
...............................
A
male
reader, Lostandalone +, writes (14 September 2006):
 Polly honestly I think you should leave, especially if it is abusive. You said you don't love him anymore so don't do this to yourself. I grew up in an abusive home. My step-father beat my mother, sometimes unconcious as I watched. This has tormented me my entire life. Some cases the child tends to take this as behaviour that is normal and they have relationships of the same kind, but in my case I vowed never to hit women or be that type of man. There is a fifty fifty chance your boys could take to this behaviour. Do you want them to grow up thinking this is normal and this is the way they should act as men. As for you, do you want to continue to be unhappy is this relationship and live miserable. Give yourself a chance to be happy. Leave!!! Don't let a child suffer as I did. Good Luck.
...............................
|
