A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is really really against smoking and even though I only smoked occasionally, I gave it up completely for him. A month or two ago we went through a pretty bad breakup after being together for 2 years and I was going crazy. I was overstressed, didn't get more than an hour of sleep per night, contemplated hurting myself. I was a mess. I decided to smoke just once to help me relax because of that bad state I was in after our breakup. It temporarily helped, which was enough to help me relax just for one day, get some sleep, and collect my thoughts. We ended up getting back together after that and I found out that during our breakup he had started talking to another girl; nothing too serious but enough to upset me a bit. I got over it pretty quickly but in the heat of it all forgot to tell him about the smoking. We have both been trying to work on improving communication so I told him yesterday that I had smoked during our breakup and I didn't do it to spite him, just to help me a bit and I hoped he could understand. He went crazy and told me he didn't want to be with me anymore and kept telling me that he hoped I was happy and then started accusing me of cheating on him. I feel like since we were broken up and my motives weren't bad, that he shouldn't have reacted this way but maybe I'm wrong. I gave him the most sincere apology I could but he won't even talk to me and says "he can't be with me anymore and doesn't want to again"Should I try and make it better or should I just let him go? I can't really tell if I'm in the wrong here or not because to me this seems like a minute thing to end a 2 year relationship over
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2010): Ok, repeat after me...
Sometimes too much information is too much. I need not fully disclose information that may cause pain to my partner, if the activity has ceased and I regret it and voe to never repeat it.
say this 10 times...
A
male
reader, Beingblack  +, writes (28 November 2010):
 Unfortunately I think you are both to blame.
I imagine that he knew you smoked before he even asked you for a date, so it seems silly to try to change you after you became a couple. Also, why did you feel you had to give up for him? He is simply trying to control you.
My personal opinion is that I would never date a smoker, no matter how gorgeous she was, because of the terrible smell of smoke and nicotine. So if he wants to date a non smoker, then tell him to go find one, and you stay happy with your smoke and tobacco.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2010): What is on your mind? Kick his ass to the curb? What do you need with an asshole whose shit also stinks but turns his eyes to it. If he disposed of you for something as minor, although major for health, even after you corrected it imagine what he will do everytime you err. No one's perfect and that's the standard he's set for you. Kick his shallow ass to the curb!!!!!!!!!!
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