A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi allSo I have a question. Its all very odd how it has happened and I just need a solution to my problem.About 10 years ago I spotted this guy and thought nothing of it. Throughout the years we have bumped into each other and seen each other out. I always thought he never liked me because he just stared at me. He then got together with a girl and brought a house etc but broke up 4 years ago. Anyway I believe it was fate was happened a few weeks ago. I had broken up with my ex and I went out one night to find him with another girl. I got really upset and down and then the guy I like came up to me and said "you look lovely, let me buy you a drink". It was like he popped into my life when I was so down to make me feel better. So 6 weeks on, and I am so so confused. We have gone out a few times and have such a laugh. But it seems I am having to make all the effort and he seems to play little games with me to see if I am interested. I also have to point out though that he has had serious issues in the past and is on tablets and dosen't trust people all that well. I went out last night and he kept on staring at me but he didn't come over to talk to me, but he told my friends I was great and lovely. I haven't got in touch today because I feel that he didn't come and speak to me so why should I?. Any suggestions?
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broke up, my ex Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThats great thanks for the advice, but another question, yesterday I didn't get in touch with him all day but I then got a message later on saying "your quiet today, whats up??" I replied a short answer, then he asked me what I was up to. I haven't txted him today. We spent the best evening together on Friday, then he tried to call me Sat but I was busy. He says he is confused by the way I feel, but I have told him I liked him. This is totally upsetting!
Thank you all! xx
A
female
reader, AnneLG +, writes (1 November 2009):
Don't partake in his games. Ignore him until he makes it clear he's interested. Maybe he thinks he can squeeze some fun out of you, maybe he really likes you. Either way, let him express this. Don't waste your time on someone only interested in flirting. A guy who's serious about you will find a way of telling you this. He won't be able to help himself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2009): Don't be the one making all the effort as you will just end up feeling bad about yourself. Wait till someone really interested makes an effort for you.
I think this one caught you at a vulnerable moment. Just be glad someone made you feel good at the time and wanted to spend time with you. But for the future, think who is good enough for you, not the other way round.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy + ♥, writes (1 November 2009):
I'm afraid AskOldersister is rihgt. Take it from a male that when a guy's interested, he really does show it. This guy doesn't sounds like he's all that bothered, so you would be far better moving on and finding a guy who won't play games, but will run around after you. Good luck
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister  + ♥, writes (1 November 2009):
 A guy that's really into you wouldn't treat you like this or act this way. The more you put effort into this, the less he'll invest and will take a passive back seat. You'll end up in high pursuit mode and he'll eventually start running- the only action you'll get out of this guy will be the opposite of what you want.
If he has serious issues and plays games, I have to question why you are even interested in this person in the first place. You have been emotionally "activated" by a guy that's unavailable to you....why? Your delusional mentality like this is all "fate" just compounds the issue and allows you to feed off it. Healthy females avoid guys like this because it's a turn off, an obvious dead end, and a total waste of energy. Lots of guys out there that are unavailable so best to figure out your issue than waste years on a destructive pattern. Take care.
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