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I refused to get back together as friends with benefits

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Faded love, Friends, Teenage, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 October 2006) 4 Answers - (Newest, 13 October 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

I split up with my guy six months ago because he cheated on me. We've been in contact recently and I think he wants us to get back together. I told him that we have got to be exclusive. He said he didn't want a 'girlfriend' so I refused to get back together as friends with benefits.

Well we were texting and phoning each other tonight, he was pretty drunk and confessed to me that he loved me, this is only the second time he has told me this in four years. He desperately wanted to see me tonight even though he lives two hours drive away. I said it wasn't wise to see me as he had too much to drink. I told him that I wanted more from the relationship than just casual sex. His response was he was lonely. I suggested we talk tomorrow when he's sober. I love him dearly what should I do?

View related questions: cheated on me, drunk, friend with benefits, get back together, split up, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2006):

You have done the right thing by no talking to him while he was drunk. If he is confused about what he wants don't let him drag you with his confusion. You know what you want go for it, and if you realised that you are looking in the wrong place, look somewhere else.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (8 October 2006):

eyeswideopen agony auntI agree with the first aunt, stick to your guns! This "friends with benefits" thing is s scam and rarely ends up as a satisfying experience. You know what you want be determined to have your way or the highway. Good luck.

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A female reader, Keeley +, writes (8 October 2006):

Keeley agony auntWell your right never try and have a conversaton with someone when they are drunk as this never works.

Good that you want to deal with this straight away so yes talk to him today and tell him exactly what you want out of the relationship and ask him if he wants the same, if he does not then I guess you know what you have to do.

Is there any reason why he does not want to commit?

Ask him how he feels about you - and where does he see your relationship going either short term or long term.

Until you both have this talk here is not much more can be said.

Let us know the outcome and good luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2006):

I think you know what to do...sounds like you are handling him just fine to me...stick to your guns and ask for the commitment you want from him that half a relationship is no relationship at all, and that you want to be married to him in the future and you deserve that from him. Don't apologize for wanting to get married. If he does not give you this then it is best for you to move on so that you can find the love of your life, and if he is lonely that is the consequences he will have to live with as he chose not to commit....sounds fair right?

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