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I recently gave up my virginity and still find sex uncomfortable

Tagged as: Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 December 2013) 6 Answers - (Newest, 24 December 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi, I’m currently in a new relationship with my boyfriend and I have lost my virginity to him. We have tried having sex twice. Every time we have sex, it feels slightly uncomfortable and very tight. My boyfriend can only manage to enter his cock half way inside me. How can I relax? Also each time I have sex, shall I allow him to enter me gradually so I can get used to sex or shall I allow him to enter his cock fully inside me? When I first had sex, I didn’t bleed. When he enters me, I am wet but not very wet. I'm not finding sex that pleasureable.

Thanks

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A male reader, M Proops United Kingdom +, writes (24 December 2013):

Maybe your boyfriend is not very experienced at arousing you.It is very important that you are well lubricated before penetration especially the first time it happens.The more excited you are the wetter you are.Did you ever practice with a sex toy to gauge your own reactions.You can gently break your own hymen with a sex toy in a controlled and comfortable way.A lot of girls experience some discomfort the first time/s.Don't rush it and relax.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2013):

It hurt for me really badly for the first few times. After that it hurt less but it still did a little bit each time. I think you probably just have to get used to get over the first few times.

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A female reader, agneeman South Africa +, writes (23 December 2013):

agneeman agony auntYou have vaginismus which is very common.

I struggled with it for a year (but my husband was a bad lover)

Google it, read up about it and do the excercises.

It is important that you relax. No pressure.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (23 December 2013):

person12345 agony auntThe average woman takes a full 20 minutes to be fully aroused, are you getting enough foreplay? Have him get you close to orgasm before he even tries to put it in to be sure.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (22 December 2013):

Ciar agony auntYeah, you might want to spend more time engaging in foreplay. You're probably rushing things.

Give yourself time to relax, ease into it (pardon the pun) gradually.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2013):

To quote a very wise woman...

You have to pre-heat the oven before you stick in the turkey.

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