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I received an annonymous email from somebody saying that my boyfriend was cheating on me!

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 May 2007) 5 Answers - (Newest, 1 June 2007)
A female United States age 36-40, *obleam writes:

I received an annonymous email from somebody saying that my boyfriend was cheating on me. I asked him about it but he said that he didn't. He always hangs out with his best friend who is a girl. She borrows his boxers, goes to the movies with him (he pays) and even sleeps in the same bed as him. She has admitted that she likes him more than just a friend. Is my boyfriend cheating on me with his best friend or am I being paranoid?

View related questions: am I being paranoid, best friend

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A female reader, waiting_on_luv Canada +, writes (1 June 2007):

waiting_on_luv agony auntOkay, well everyone is pointing fingers at your man's friend, when maybe just maybe, your guy likes her too? they are best friends after all. perhaps he sent the email in hopes you would break up with him? i know this is probably not what you want to hear, but im just saying look at it from other perspectives... have you guys still been really close since this email? or even a few days before, or does he seem like hes spending more and more time with his friend? my advice is to talk to him, and tell him how it makes you uncomfortable for him to share his boxers/bed with her (thats just not right in my opnion) if he can't do those things he's just not worth your time sweetie =( im sorry!

don't stay in this relationship if it continues!

hope it works out for you!

kelskii(L)

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A female reader, laurie-loo United Kingdom +, writes (1 June 2007):

laurie-loo agony aunti think maybe your boyfreind isnt cheating on you, because for what other reason would he tell you he shares a bed with her? (and the other things) if he was hiding something, he wouldent of mencioned how close they are to you as he would of been trying to keep it secret what was going on so you dont suspect anything. i think this girl has sent the email, but couldent leave her name as its untrue. if it was true, i think she would of told you sooner to try and spoil what you have with your boyfrend so she can have him for herself. but seen as though its lies, she has to do it anonymously so none of you can find out. i think you should tell your boyfrend you dont think that sort of thing is normal and you feel uncomftable with it. show you understand from his point of view, that you can see theyre freinds and you dont want to come in between that but you dont think sharing a bed is acceptable. especialy when she likes him more than in a freindly way. im sure he will be understanding and im also certin he wouldent be too happy about you sharing a bed with male freinds. good luck xxx

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A male reader, DV1 United States +, writes (1 June 2007):

DV1 agony auntHe's not cheating. She's trying to steal your man. This is one of the few times where I would EVER say this, but: You need to make him decide between hanging out with his best friend, and you. He's allowing this flirting to continue, and it's disrespectful to you. If he continues, walk away, and find someone else.

DV1

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A female reader, Choconut United Kingdom +, writes (1 June 2007):

Choconut agony auntTo be honest id count what you just described as cheating. Cheating doesnt just mean sex, although it sounds like they may be. Hes sharing intimate things with this girl and in my books that counts. Its still a relationship is it not? What about people that dont want sex before marriage.. they may go cinema share boxers sleep in the same bed and that would be their romantic relationship- no sex involved. I dont think its fair on you, he should have stopped things like that because he found you, even if it was innocent its just a sign of respect.

Good luck babes, do the right thing. xxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2007):

personally, I would guess that she sent the email.. and he probably is faithful, but shes trying to sabatoge maybe?

other than that.. i wouldnt want my bf sharing his boxers, and his bed with another girl, regardless if its his best friend! thats just me, you may be comfortable with that. Maybe you could tag along with them when they go to the movies? you are his gf.. so you should be able to chill with them too?

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