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I really want to sleep with him, but I'm really scared too, what should I do?

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 August 2010) 9 Answers - (Newest, 19 August 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

ive been going out with this guy for almost a month now and i feel like i have known him all my life i love him to bits and hes says he loves me to ( were both 14 ) hes told me hes wants to marry me ( of course this is not serious talk but a nice thing to say and stuff ) and he wants me to have sex with him we are both ready in our own ways but not by the law and i do want to have it with him but in a way dont know what to do. i dont know weather we will start then he will not like me for some reason or somthing and im scared i will loose him i dont think he would go but i might put him off or somthing. and also if we did have sex if i ended up pregnant ( i dont want ) then my parents would most probibly hate him and never want me to see him again and i dont know how to be safe but still get really into the relationship with him !!! help xx thnx

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2010):

He either does not know what he is talking about, or is just trying to get into your pants.

Either way, beware: trouble coming your way.

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A female reader, xPinkberryx United States +, writes (19 August 2010):

Hey :)

I am not going to tell you if your ready or not to have sex with your boyfriend. Because you know best yourself.

You shouldn't wonder if your boyfriend would want you if you and him don't have sex. If he really loves you, he will respect your opinions. Sex is a really big thing. Your very mature for thinking about the possibilities of what might happen if you do have sex.. such as pregnancy.

Will you be able to handle that?

Keep in mind, your 14. You have a whole life ahead of you. Study hard in school, hang out with your (girl) friends, be a teenager.The thought or word "sex" may pop into your head once in a while, but it shouldn't be your biggest concern. Think about it .

xPinkberryx

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A female reader, 420sunrise Canada +, writes (19 August 2010):

you've only been dating this boy for a month, and i know how it feels to feel so loved by someone. but you're only young, i'm 17 and my first experience was in grade 8, i was also 14. the worst decision of my life! i finally found the guy of my dreams and i wish i had lost it to him. you might make the biggest mistake you can! tell your guy that you dont think you're ready yet, and that you guys should wait, and maybe when you're old enough and ready and you guys are still together and you really care for him, then its time :) trust me, waiting is the best answer girl! you'll thank yourself!!

SS~

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A female reader, almc Canada +, writes (19 August 2010):

Take your time, you guys have only been together for a month, a lot.of people.I know don't start having sex until 17.. Or even later, keep it for someone who you really llove, and if he is going to leave you because you don't sleep with him he really doesn't love you, take your time. Act like a kid and don't be worrying about this. Wait to your older. Good luck

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2010):

dont sleep with him you are only 14 you can love him without doing that and in time your love will grow and then it might be the right time.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2010):

Calm down, your fourteen with your whole life ahead of you, is one night of pleasure worth ending a childhood early by having a child of your own? My instincts say: wait for penetrative sex until your old enough to do it safely. If you really must do it, use protection, I still personally say wait but you will do what you will do. If you can't contain your sexual desires try oral or masturbation but please wait till your old enough for penetrative sex. I'm thirteen, sure I've thought about sex but I'm RELATED to a lot of people that didn't wait till they were old enough and now they have unexpected kids, let me see oh yeah Wilma* was fifteen when she had her first kid, *Brock is fourteen and his girlfriend is pregnant right now! Please, there is no safe sex, so personally I'm begging you from seeing first hand what underage sex can do to people. I could go on forever about this but you will do what you will do, at least use protection or try oral.

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A female reader, maverick494 United States +, writes (19 August 2010):

First off: great you're asking this!

To get to the point: I wouldn't sleep with him. It's just been a month since you've been together! That's nothing, nothing to base anything real on. Look, I understand you're smitten with him. But please get to know him better before you decide to take the plunge, if at all. Are you really ready? or is he pressuring you?

Legally you two aren't even allowed to sleep with eachother. Please be wise. Are you on the pill? Do you have condoms? You will need both (NO exeption) if you're bent on doing this. You don't want to end up like my friend who got pregnant after her first time. And since you've said you don't know anything about protection, I especially think this is a bad idea.

If he's pressuring you for sex, he will most likely dump you afterwards. This is the sad truth, no fairytale there.

Please, please think. Don't make that mistake so many others did when you have the sense to come here and ask.

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A female reader, maverick494 United States +, writes (19 August 2010):

First off: great you're asking this!

To get to the point: I wouldn't sleep with him. It's just been a month since you've been together! That's nothing, nothing to base anything real on. Look, I understand you're smitten with him. But please get to know him better before you decide to take the plunge, if at all. Are you really ready? or is he pressuring you?

Legally you two aren't even allowed to sleep with eachother. Please be wise. Are you on the pill? Do you have condoms? You will need both (NO exeption) if you're bent on doing this. You don't want to end up like my friend who got pregnant after her first time. And since you've said you don't know anything about protection, I especially think this is a bad idea.

If he's pressuring you for sex, he will most likely dump you afterwards. This is the sad truth, no fairytale there.

Please, please think. Don't make that mistake so many others did when you have the sense to come here and ask.

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A female reader, reachingforthestars1025 United States +, writes (19 August 2010):

Dont do it! your too young. trust me i found out the hard way and now i am pregnant. at only 17. i was on birth control, and he used a condom and i still ended up pregnant. so trust me having sex young is not worth it. Wait. Its the best thing to do. 1/2 of teenagers having sex end up pregnant within 2 years. thats the facts. listen to them. If he leaves you because you wont have sex with him, then he's not the right guy for you. Oral isnt right young either but try that. Trust me its better then getting pregnant.

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