A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem..My boyfriend is a different nationality to me and his mum and dad speak a different language to me and know limited english.I've met them a lot of times but have barely said anything more than 'hi'.I don't know what to say to them :S it doesn't help that I am REALLY shy =(This makes me think that they don't like me because I don't try and speak to them. When I asked my boyfriend about this he said that they dont try to speak to me because they think that I should show respect for them by talking to them first because they're older.. :S I don't agree with this.Help I really want to get on with them :(Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009): Whether you agree or not, that's their perspective, likely rooted in their culture. If you want to get along with them, I'm afraid they're in the driver's seat on this one.
Perhaps worry less about whether they understand what you're saying, and make a point to politely greet them when you see them. You can say innocuous things -- "how are you", "nice to see you again", "lovely day outside." If they come from a traditional culture, they probably don't care to get into a detailed discussion with you about anything meaningful. They just want a gesture from you. Tough to do when you're shy, but you're going to run into similar situations in the future. Might as well learn to deal with it now.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, jenny.xx  +, writes (1 July 2009):
meeting a boyfriends parents is always tough. since they speak a different language, i suggest learning phrases of that language to try make an effort to talking to them, just the basics like, hi how are you? and this will also help you come out of your shy zone. This will show that you really care and are trying to make an effort towards them which will definitely make them like you! the older generation is usually always more stubborn so you will have to make the first step even though you might not agree with it. If they still dont like you after making an effort, talk to your boyfriend and get him to talk to them if its that serious. hope this helps!
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