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I really want the old her back so damn bad...

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 January 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 22 January 2010)
A male United States age 30-35, *immothy16 writes:

Me and my girl have been together for a year now, and back when we were on our third month, i kinda kissed her best friend for a sec. when she found out, she was of course devastated and hurt, and didnt wanna talk to neither one us at the time. then about an hour later when she finally answered the phone, i of course apologized to her and told her how bad i felt and it wouldnt ever happen again. she was still upset from it for a couple of days, and she forgive her best friend too. even before all of this happened there was a time when i used to hang up on her for stupid things and she used to be so into me, and there was one night when everything changed.

I hung up on her one nite and kept ignoring her calls about 7 times and she would cry and leave me messages of her crying at the time, even when i called her back finally, she was still crying her eyes out. i swear to g** i felt so bad because im really not a bad person or i normally dont do anything like that to girls, i felt like cryin myself. its like that sound of her voice crying like that made me realize what the hell i was doing. ever since those two situations happened, i have treated her like a queen. i been treating her good, but just those two things happened in the middle. but yeah, i havent done anything even close to those things since then. but now i know im paying the for it because even though we were still together, she was still mad at me for them, and would hold it in. she doesnt talk to me like she use to, at least not all the time. i know that saying where when a woman is hurt, it seems to stick with them or they never forget it, or something like that. its like its so hard for them to swallow the fact the fact that you hurt them and the it takes some time for her to feel the same way about you no matter how good you treat them.

Its been eight months since those 2 things happened, right now we just got on a break for about a week now. she said she loves me and wants everything to go back the way they used to be just like i do and wants this to work out too. so is there anything that i can do that i havent done already to make that pain go away in her heart so that she can love me the way she used to, or is it something that she has to do within herself to feel the same way about me that she use to feel. I really want the old her back so damn bad. its killing me, i want to know if we can actually work this out. is there anything she can read to ease the pain so the relationship can get better? ANYTHING AT ALL! PLEASE. i want to save this relationship so bad. i love her so much. help

View related questions: a break, best friend, swallow

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A male reader, Boombadaboom Belgium +, writes (22 January 2010):

Boombadaboom agony auntShe's evolved, she's learned, she's going to be this person without you or not. Learn to love her for who she is or it won't work out. Maybe she has the same thought about you. The mistakes you've done is not something she believed you'd be able to do but you did it anyway. Love changes, love evolves and if you both don't change and evolve the same way, it's going to get harder. Find a way to connect in the middle and learn to love each other more, maybe even more than you ever used to or it won't be a situation you can save.

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A female reader, Chanelle.x United Kingdom +, writes (22 January 2010):

Well think it from her point of view. she kisses on of your mates youd be heart broken. Obviously she loves you with all her heart other wise you wouldnt be with her but maybe she cant 100% trust you. She says she wants it back to normal but honestly itll take time for it to be back to normal. x

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