A
female
age
30-35,
*mmaxbaby
writes:Last night me and my boyfriend had an arguement, which caused him to get angry at me, he used violence against me and as a result im bruised, he told me he doesnt want a relationship and maybe in a few years time me and him will get back with me Im so confussed, he went out and kissed me bye and hugged me, i love him and want him back, what do i do?please help me
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): You need to get some respect for yourself and start to rebuild your self-esteem. This guy was not only violent towards you but to the extent that you were bruised!!! You have to ask youself why you would want to be with such a man-Is it due to genuine feelings or is it that you fear being alone? This man doesn't love you when he can strike out the way he does. You are someone he can control. You don't have to put up with it. Move on and be with soeone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): I have been married for the second time, first for 20 years, second 3 years, my husband is very possesive, he intimidates me if i cross him or tell him how i feel as far as bruising my arms through just holding me, he is very imature in so many ways been in the army, been a bouncer, thinks hs really hard but very insecure really, has allowed his father to control him all his life, i have left him twice because of his behaviour, but he still pleads his sincere love for me, and how he will change he does sincerly love me in his own way, i do believe he really does love me, and now his father has said unless he divores me he will lose all his inheritance, he has told his father he loves me, and wont but part of me wants out even though hes not allowing this because he wont let go
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): Leave him. Stay away and start seeing (different) guys.
Don't listen to his words or his sexual affections, listen to his violence. That's a message that's not gonna change.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): When a man uses violence against you...it should be the first and last time. You may love him but you should love yourself more. Get some dignity and pride and tell him goodbye. He has been rude and disprespectful and he will only coninue to abuse you. Hugging and kissing you when he left is only guilt. NOthing more. Men do this because they know it is what the woman expects. Find a better guy..one who wants to be with you and will never hurt you physically.
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A
female
reader, Rhian2020 +, writes (4 May 2008):
Hello,
Please don't ever think of getting back with this guy. He's been violent with you which has caused you to bruise.
What's next,a broken arm? broken ribs? Or worse? Real, decent men would never dream of being violent with a woman. He kissed and hugged you because he felt guilty for what he had done and so he should. Count yourself lucky that he doesn't want to be in a relationship and has walked away, not all women are that fortunate. I understand that you love him but does he love you if he's willing to be violent towards you just because he got angry? Spend time with family and friends and talk to someone you trust about what happened. With time you may find someone else who will treat you right and not like a punch bag.
Good luck.xx.
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A
female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (4 May 2008):
 He's done you a favour. Seriously you dont want a guy like that. When a man turns violent and starts hitting his girlfriend, if you let him get away with it he will almost certainly do it again. Maybe not tomorrow or next week but he would. And you dont want the constant fear of disagreeing with him or arguing with him just incase he gets violent again. That isnt a relationship.
It hurts cos yare right in the middle of it. Its like looking at an object just cm's from your face, you cant see what it really is until you take a few steps back.
In a few weeks you'll be able to look back and realise what a loser he was and you'll be so glad you dont have to put up with him anymore. Until then just keep busy, spend as much time as possible with your family and friends, fill up your days so you dont have the time to just sit around and think.
Take care
Brooke
xx
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