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I really need some advice. I'm so confused right now and it's driving me nuts because I can't think of anything else.

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Question - (12 June 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 13 June 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *upids victim writes:

I really need some advice. I'm so confused right now and it's driving me nuts because I can't think of anything else...

I am in love with this boy, and have been since september. He's all I think about but, this is where it gets complicated...

After a couple of months I tried to tell him how i felt but chickened out. Not long after I did tell him how i felt and he said he only liked me as a mate so I tried to let it go. a month later he started seeing one of my "friends" (it's complicated, she stabbed me in the back, lied to me and hurt me on purpose)because he really like this other girl and wanted to get his mind off her. They spilt up after 2 months and all the time he was seeing her he was unhappy and was telling me everything.

Me and him became really close we are best friends now and tell each other anything and everything because we trust each other and know we can tell each other stuff. He started seeing the girl he liked and she broke his heart. She cheated on him and dumped him.

Now since then he seems to be... flirting a lot more with me, and wanting to spend more time with me. I'm soo confused as to what he wants but I can't ask him again as I've already brought it up again and he know I still love him. ( I got drunk at a party and told him everything and we talked about it loads, which left me even more confused) I've been drunk in front of him before and he looked after me and everyone thought he was my boyfriend, and I loved that. Just the thought of being know as his girlfriend... I can't stop thinking bout him and I'm starting to think that he like me too but I can't say anything because I've asked it soo many times now... I feel I'm going round in circles with him.

He's my best friend and I can't lose him... but I'm soo confused... all over half term he text me every day. we spent about 10 pound talking to each other. we spend all our time together in school and out. Please give me some advice... this is tearing me apart...

(Ps sorry it was so long but it's complicated)

View related questions: best friend, drunk, flirt, text

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A female reader, Cupids victim United Kingdom +, writes (13 June 2007):

Cupids victim is verified as being by the original poster of the question

firstly, just wanna thank NuVu for his advice... he's is my best friend and like you said, maybe a few years down the line... he seems to be making excuse to spend time with me recently and changing his plans to either involve me or spend time with me, so that good I suppose :)

More then anything, I really wanna stay as close to him as I am now. So, I guess its a case of being his friend and loving him that way...

Thanks again for your advice NuVu, I really is helpful...

xxxx

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A male reader, NuVu United States +, writes (13 June 2007):

There are things that men just can't talk to each other about. So a woman becomes a cherished friend because he can share things with her that he can't with his guy friends. This deep personal sharing brings intimacy, but the guy doesn't necessarily connect that intimacy with a romantic relationship. This can be extremely confusing to women.

I hate to say this but it sounds like if you had a long talk about this when you were drunk, he certainly would have stepped up at that time and kissed your or done something if he was interested. Since he didn't and you only came away more confused, it sounds like he might have been trying to tell you that he didn't want a romantic relationship, but at the same time he was trying to do it so nicely and sweetly as to not hurt the friend he cares about so much, that it just made you more confused.

If you love him.... well being a friend is a great way to express that love. Who knows a couple years down the road, after giving him so much love, a light might go off in his head, and he might realize you are the woman for him.

In the mean time, don't chase him and make sure you are caring for yourself as much has your caring for him.

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