A
female
age
18-21,
*penmind
writes:So im an agony aunt new to this website and i need some advice. Ive been in a relationship with my girl for almost four months now and I feel like im bored. I know its not because we spend to much time together because i go to school and work and she works and we live an hour apart seeing each other about twice a week. She is 30, ten years older than myself and already says i love you. I know i really like her but i cant get in the mood to have sex most of the time and find that she really gets on my nerves alot of the time. I want to make things work but i dont know what to do or how to do it any advice??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, openmind + ♥, writes (3 November 2009):
openmind is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to everyone for your advice i have found the solution to my problem and i am at peace with everything now. Thanks for your support!!!!!!!!!!
A
male
reader, q1605 +, writes (30 October 2009):
 She repeats every thing you say in a mocking voice.
She makes fun of the way you laugh.
Most problems can be over come by introducing more foreplay. But that's one issue you seem to have covered. Beats me.
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A
female
reader, openmind + ♥, writes (30 October 2009):
openmind is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIjust wonder am I bored now bc we moved so fast in the beginning, am I bored at all or is it something else and if I want to make it work can I? Thankyou to everyone who is listening to me ramble like a crazy person I'm just confused ab my own feelings. To all your advice is priceless to me thanks so much!
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A
female
reader, openmind + ♥, writes (30 October 2009):
openmind is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGood lord she doesn't have hygene problems she showers on a regular basis trust me I know I just wondered if the fact she doesn't shave traps oder or something and she is sweet she randomly came to my house at 5am before I got up for work and said baby I wanted to be spontanious she hadn't been to bed drove an hour to get me she said even if you won't skip work it was worth driving all the way down here just to see you for a minute she does things like that alot takes me out to eat she holds me at night always asks about my day buys me random gifts I mean there is good and bad like with everything. But the bad times are rough I just wanted to know what's up with the vag and if perhaps there was something wrong with me for feeling the way I do?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2009): Okay, so you really, really like someone who:
1. Is jealous
2. Mocks you
3. Gets on your nerves
4. Has a hygiene issue
5. Bores you
6. Does not turn you on sexually
7. Is controlling
8. Has not recovered from her last relationship
Other than saying she's "very sweet"--which contradicts everything else you said--you have not laid out one redeeming quality that would explain why you would even consider being in this relationship. It's only been four months not 4 years; there is no need to make this relationship work. Get out now before you find yourself trapped.
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A
female
reader, katyayni  + ♥, writes (30 October 2009):
 Oh.. okay( the follow up wasn't there). You aren't the only one who wants to 'save' someone.. help them heal etc. But, here looks like the lady that you are seeing isn't completely healed from the after effects of a sour relationship. If she is not in the healthy state, it will be harming you psychologically too. Tell her how you feel. Try to be good friends with her. Convince her to see a therapist. But, get out of the relationship. For starters, no matter how sweet the person, no one should want to be treated that way. Secondly, it will screw you up too (over time, it will dent your confidence), thirdly, you guys could settle into this pattern...
So, get out of the relationship. Talk to her, and be a friend... but get out of the relationship.
Take Care
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A
female
reader, katyayni + ♥, writes (30 October 2009):
Yup.
AOS said it. (and here I was picturing the lady to be a nice considerate and sedate woman.. well, live and learn, so thank you openmind).
Get out of it. Quickly.
Love :)
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A
female
reader, openmind + ♥, writes (30 October 2009):
openmind is verified as being by the original poster of the questionbut i really do like her she is very sweet and extremly jealous because her gf of five years cheated on her but i have told her a thousand times i am not that girl. Im confused as to do i think im bored because she makes me mad with the mocking and jealousy shit, and i cant help but think i would want her more if i could figure out what is up with the oder could it have anything to do with not shaving? Sorry im being annoying i just really dont want to throw this away so quickly
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (30 October 2009):
 Ok, she's awful and obnoxious. Controlling and bad hygiene are not qualities you need to compromise on. Just put an end to this, you can do better and as jealous as she is, she probably won't stalk you since she lives so far away so just make a clean break. Good luck and update us!
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A
female
reader, openmind + ♥, writes (30 October 2009):
openmind is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo get on my nerves she will go through my phone read messages ive sent and make fun of me for them. She will repeat what i said over and over again in a mocking tone again and again and again she does that with my laugh too she doesnt ever want to do anything but sleep all the time and yes i can talk to her thats not boring but i have a hard time getting turned on by her and there is another problem with that. She has a very strong oder down there that really turns me off and i dont know how to tell her about it i know its kinda gross but idk what to do
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (30 October 2009):
Can you be a little more specific about what she does to get on your nerves? Twice a week isn't seeing each other enough in a relationship where someone would get on your nerves unless they were doing something really blatant? Can you give examples? It's only been 4 mths so it's a new relationship, you should be in the mood for sex. Please elaborate.
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A
female
reader, katyayni + ♥, writes (30 October 2009):
Hi
If she bores you and gets on your nerves then I think that you have outgrown the relationship. There are plenty of things one can fix, but boredom is hard to take away. If you have lost all interest in her, let her go. Just make sure that she truly does bore you to tears. If it is something that can be fixed then fine, give it a try... but if you can't even have a conversation, got nothing to say stage, then... gently let it go.
Best of Luck
Love :)
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