A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Theres a guy who I really really like, we've known each other since the beginning of the year, but we lost contact over the summer and we've just gotten back in touch and have been texting non stop for the past couple of weeks. I think I'm falling for him...He's such a nice guy and a real sweatheart but he's quite shy and has never had a girlfriend before. How do I initiate things with him, without scaring him off? I've never felt like this before and I don't want it to go wrong!Any advice would really be appreciated! Thanks
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never had a girlfriend, shy, text Reply to this Question |
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2007): I often wonder why in these days of gender equality us guys still have to make the first move, some of us are as shy as you, and the net result is both genders loose out on the possibility of meeting and getting to know people who attract us for many reasons.
My advice is be a little less gentle with him. Ask him out for a drink via text, when you get him there use any excuse, and he's relaxed a little. Just confront him about the shyness, get him talking about how he feels, get a drink in him, when the moment feels right just snog him.
Help the poor man along, and get him out of his shell! It sounds like you've done the preliminaries already sussed him out. Just do it.
A
male
reader, TomWilkinson +, writes (21 November 2007):
 I used to be that lad so should be able to help you out :)
Him texting you a lot is a good sign, especially with him bring shy, as this will be the way he feels comfortable communicating.
You should go for the simple age old "do you fancy going for a drink / going to the cinema / anything else you wanna do next weekend / sometime"
If you think he'd be too shy if asked in person and public, just text it! Some people think this is impersonal but if its how you communicate most of the time, he'll feel okay with being honest straight away.
Go for it, the worst that can happen is you stay friends!
Good luck and let me know how it goes!
x
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A
male
reader, Azarath  +, writes (21 November 2007):
 as a guy who used to be shy(and paid for it in missed opportunities) I would suggest spending time with him alone as often as possible. dont rush things though, eye contact and little gestures make a world of difference in a guys confidence. remember a little touch goes a long way. just suttle things like touching his hand when he gives you things, and setting close enough, so your legs touch. just dont be to forward, or embarass him, and he will pick up on your little hints soon enough. once he does and you make it past the akward phase. you will have to ask a new question "how do I get this guy off of me" lol. the shy guys have the most pent up feelings, become attached the quickest, and are the most sensitive. they also have the potential to love the most. so if he is a good guy like you say, if you can get in his heart, and treat him right. you wont have to worry for a long time.
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