A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:There is this guy who I really like, and I think I'm falling for him, I've never felt like this before. He is such a nice guy, a real gentleman and such a sweatheart! The thing is he is really shy and has never had a girlfriend before, so how can I reassure him? I don't want to scare him off, but I really want something to happen between us. Any advice on how I could take things forward would be great. Thanks for reading!
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never had a girlfriend, shy Reply to this Question |
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your reply daletom, I really appreciate it. I hadn't thought about it in that way. I just assumed that nothing could ever happen. We are friends, and we still text each other, i'll keep being friends and then if he does ever like me, then i'll be there just like you said.
I guess patience really is a virtue!
A
male
reader, daletom  +, writes (14 January 2008):
"Moving on" isn't necessarily your only option!
I admire & commend you for taking the step to tell him. It sounds like he is rather straightforward and matter-of-fact. Do you admire these qualities, or prefer somebody who is less direct?
But I wouldn't take his response as the last word in the matter. If he has endured a fair amount of ridicule or teasing, he may be reluctant to admit to ANY attraction - out of fear that you are just setting him up for a fall. The classic "sour grapes" response by somebody who has been repeatedly thwarted from reaching some goal.
Or he might need a little more time. After more contact with you and after developing more familiarity he might realize that you really are a very interesting and desirable person, and become much more attracted to you. Maintain contact - treat him as a friend - don't be pushy - don't tell him that you'll be there when he becomes interested, but rather just be there when he does.
Give it a month or two and see if things are the same, or if there is some movement. Patience might be your most effective tool.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe knew how I felt about him, however he didn't feel the same way, so I'm picking myself up and moving on. Will I ever find the right guy? Who knows...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): First of all let me say how great it is to hear a girl not always going for the 'bad boy', and choosing quality and carefully. He must of been waiting for this a long time and you could make him very happy, and if he has these qualities like you say he does then you could make each other happy.
Be prepared to move at his pace and to make most of the moves becuase if he has never had a girlfriend before then getting the first kiss will be a little harder than usual. But keep at it, he seems interested so i don't think you will scare him away. Ask him if he wants to go anywhere with you movies/pub/town etc. And ask him what he thinks of you, e.g. get a new top, change your hairstyle or something and ask him what he thinks of you in the top or with your new hair. Flirt with him and show general interest and he will come around.
Let us know how you get on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): Firstly, *to make you aware of my character* i sound to be exactly like your "friend". I am extremely shy and kind (so I like to believe)and also have never had a real girlfriend before.. (I am 17)
Secondly, *to answer your question* being a similar personality type to your friend, I would highly recommend you simply tell him how you feel. You need to ask him out; his worst fear is rejection most likely. If you ask him to be your boyfriend, this will give him an air of confidence; he will do something romantic and you will fall even harder for him, or realize that his comfortable side isn't exactly your cup of tea. I prefer the first option myself. :)
There is an extremely low possibility that this will creep him out... he probably has been torturing himself constantly in his mind for not making any gesture to ask you himself..
Finally, I wish you all the happiness in the world! You are my inspiration. It is not how we were born, how we died, but how we lived.
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