| A
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hello everyone. I've been in my current relationship for about 10 months. We're up to that stage where we're just getting really comfortable with each other and each other's places. The problem is I can't sleep in the same bed with him.When I was growing up, there was a lot of violence in my house. No one really knows this, including my boyfriend, but I'd be woken up in the middle of the night to the sound of my dad beating my mom and I can recall a few times when I got a few punches in the head. Now, most nights I can sleep fine, but a few nights a week I just replay a lot of the things that went down in my house in my mind and I just get really scared and I just can't sleep.Most recently, my boyfriend and I were in my bedroom just hanging out and it got late and we fell asleep. I was fine for a while but I woke up and just started freaking out and I ended up sleeping on my couch. My boyfriend woke up and saw that and he kind of saw it as an insult to him or something along those lines. Which I understand, but I'd love to explain to him why I can't sleep next to him but I really divulge that part of my past to him or any of my friends for that matter. I really like the comfort of having him around but I just can't handle sleeping next him. I don't know how to handle this situation. Help?
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female
reader, emma-louisa  +, writes (20 July 2010):
If you talk you him openly about your past, im sure your boyfriend will understand, if your more than comforable talking to him im sure you will find it easier talking to him than you thought. talk it through slowly, if your boyfriends loves you for who you are, he will accept it. honestly.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2010): I think if you don't want him to take this personally you need to explain why you are reacting like this. It also sounds like you might find counselling useful.
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A
female
reader, Duckyhelp +, writes (9 July 2010):
 I think telling him the truth would be the best. He would understand and he will feel happier that you have opened up to him.
Maybe show him this page, or write it all down kind of letter form, that way you dont need to say it. Unless you can say it, then that would be easier i guess. Whatever you are most comfortable with.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (9 July 2010):
 All the help you really need is letting him now why you had to sleep on the couch. That's it. He will understand.
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