A
female
age
22-25,
Puicks
writes:I really hate my b/f.i do not want to be with my b/f anymore. we've been together for 4 and a half years and now am soooooooooooo depresseddddddd. I cannot take anymore of this relationship, we argue alot, there is not one month that goes by and my b/f finds something to get upset with me about. I have been in relationships before and know that this is not the way couples treat each other. i know i can do better but at the moment i do not want to do anything with anyone else whilst am still with him. but god help me, i need to leave him to find better. i can't take it no more. I have arranged to meet a counsellor this thrusday.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2007): You need to get out NOW! Just putting up with someone is not good enough. Life is too short, so why are you still hanging on in there.
Just get rid now.
Take care
xx
A
male
reader, lupa-k +, writes (24 April 2007):
Some relationships are quite unhealthy for both partners, and using the word hate and boyfriend in the same sentence really summarises it. Take a step back and ask yourself why you have stayed in this relationship: Is it because you are scared of the consequences of ending it or just of the unknown? It sounds from what you are staying that you have had successful relationships previously, so the most productive thing that you can do for both of you is move on.
Good luck with the counselling, maybe if you did want to stay together you could try some joint relationship counselling (if he admits there actually is a problem) but I think the longer you try to preserve something that isn't working, the harder its going to be for you to move on in the ultimate aftermath
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A
female
reader, Irish49  + ♥, writes (24 April 2007):
 I do agree with 'accused's advice, wholeheartedly. I am wondering why you are still with a guy that you hate? Or is this a love him one day, but hate him the next? Or is this relationship truely been over for a long time, and that you and he are just co-exsisting together, kind of just sliding along and pretending?? If it is, then do yourself a favor and do your bf a favor and end this relationship with him. You both need to split up, call it a day. Believe me, your bf likely feels your emotional absence, whether you talk about it or not. If he's not what you want, then you’re not what he wants either. You are doing him a disservice by remaining in the relationship physically while your mind, heart and spirit is elsewhere. This isn’t about you leaving him for someone else. It’s about you leaving for you and for him; and giving him the opportunity to move ahead in life without you. The sooner the better because freeing your bf to find someone else, who will truly love and accept him just the way he is, is likely the most honorable thing you can do for him. Get out there and both of you find a deeply meaningful relationship with other people, someone that you both may be more compatible with. But first, before you do that, get into that counseling and get fixed up, hun. Take care of the depression. Because the way you are now, you aint ready for new relationship. Heal yourself and move forward on to brighter, happier days. Life is too short to live it like this. Take care, dear and I wish you the best,
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A
female
reader, accused  + ♥, writes (24 April 2007):
 If you use the term "hate" and "bf" all in the same sentence then you've pretty much said it all.... If this man makes you feel so bad and depressed then you should end it now and do just what you said "find better"... Sometimes we stay in relationships because its comfortable for us. but NOT HEALTHY all the same... If you are truly this unhappy then just end it with him... But before you do go on search for better take time to heal from this and learn from the relationship explore the possibilities to why you two could not get along... I wish you best of luck.....
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2007): 4 1/2 years you guys done well... just hang in there no one has a perfect relationship winners or sucess comes from those who stick it out together throughout life and why bother going through the whole Get 2 know you phase..
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