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I really hate it when my breasts are touched, why do you think this is?

Tagged as: Dating, Health, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 February 2007) 7 Answers - (Newest, 7 July 2013)
A female Canada age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Before I go to my doctor, I want to see if anyone here has any advise for me. I absolutely HATE my breasts being touched. It is really bad because my boyfriend is so sweet, and he loves to be close to me when we are naked, but I refuse to take my bra off. I will take everything else off, but I have only taken my bra off a few times for him. I even keep it on when I sleep alone. They just feel weird. It's not really painful but anything touching them, especially my nipples, just makes me feel extremely uncomfortable.

The odd time, if I am very turned on, while having sex with my boyfriend, he can touch them and I'll enjoy it. But otherwise, I know this is weird, but I almost want to throw up when they are touched. I don't know what to think anymore. The only thing I can remember that may have something to do with it is an abusive boyfriend I had used to grab my nipples and pinch and pull them until I cried. He did it several times. But I don't feel traumatized or anything from that. I just don't like them being touched. It's just gone too far because I never take my bra off except for the shower.

I hate this about myself, and I want to be able to lay completely naked with my boyfriend. Does anyone have an idea whats wrong with me?

View related questions: bra , breasts, nipples

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2013):

Im so glad im not the only person with this problem! I HATE having my breasts, esp nipples touched, it makes me feel depressed, awkward, sad, wierd, uncomfortable, nauseous, vaguely homicidal, heavy, anxious, and panicked all at the same time. I never had much of a problem until my current relationship: my bf is obsessed with my boobs, he has gotten better but used to mash them like potatoes, rub them raw during a movie,grab them before he even said hi to me or kissed me hello;;;he leers at me when he does it too. Otherwise he's perfect. But boobs are such a huge issue with him that I feel like a horrible and sick person telling him no. He gets so sad and upset and angry, and I dont know what to do. He refuses to stop completely but has gotten a little better. But he's too thick to understand that it turns me off; then he doesnt get it and gets mad when i dont want sex afterwards.

Unfortunately I have to say i was molested as a girl for years, and yes it was the boobies. Sigh. But I never had an issue before because my past bf's werent so obsessed with my boobs, and i think they were sensitive enough to realize i wasnt into it either. But this whole issue has come out of nowhere and sometimes seems to be tearing my relationship apart! I would love to go to a counsellor, bf thinks its a stupid idea of course. LOL!!! Anyway so happy to see im not too crazy. Do all guys just assume that women LOVE haveing their boobs mashed and scrambled and honked all the time?

the worst is sucking/any mouth action. I will KILL!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2007):

I have this exact same problem... it is a physical response that I get. I love my body, I've never been abused, but for as long as I can remember every time my nipples are touched I feel weirdly disconnected and nauseous... almost like a seedy hungover/homesick feeling. A cross between emotional and physical upset. I think it may be hormonal or that something is chemically a bit unbalanced. I do have other issues with mental illness and depression... maybe they are biologically related?

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A female reader, skittles Canada +, writes (22 February 2007):

Thank you all for the help. Actually, I was raped when I was 16, but in my mind I don't think about that anymore. I have totally come to terms with it, and it never bothers me, so I did not think that it could still be affecting me.

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A female reader, Psyche United States +, writes (22 February 2007):

Have you ever been sexually assaulted?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2007):

One reason could be, your body automatically saying no to your boyfriend touching them. cause your brain probably remembers what happened last time. If your boyfriend doesn't know, you should tell him. He could touch them little by little until your comfortable with it.

another reason could be, that you don't like him touching them, when your not excited. its totally normal

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2007):

i had this problem, but my problem was that i was horrified by my body, not that i have anything wrong with it, i just had no confidence, i have no feeling in my brests, and there fore hated gettin them touched, but the rest of my body i was fine with, my partner helped me through this by sayin i was beautiful and gently touched them during intercourse, after this i was fine and no im not afraid for him to touch my breasts, i dunno if this helps but just sounds like lack of confidence to me

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A female reader, hails United Kingdom +, writes (21 February 2007):

hails agony auntmaybe you need to talk to someone about this abusive boyfriend as having a counsellor will bring alot more of your past up than you think and maybe that isnt the reason but a counsellor can help you as its helped my mum alot and they will bring things up from years ago an u may learn theres a number of reasons you dont like your breasts bein touched, i gotta say i aint to keen on it either lol

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