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female
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*oocha
writes: Hi Everyone,I really need some help. I have been with my boyfriend for two years, he has cheated twice but i forgave him. We moved hundreds of miles away from all our friends and family to start a fresh. But when we got here i was real depressed - i missed my home, and he was here to be a student whereas i had a full time job. A few months later he just moved out of the flat and left me in the lurch, he says now he feels really bad about this. Anyway he has his own life now even though he still hangs around at my house all the time. I haven't even met his friends. I just really don't want to loose him because i don't want to be on my own but we argue nearly everyday he says he doesn't know if he loves me anymore. What shall i do? I don't want to live so far from home totally on my own. When i tried to leave him over xmas he rang me up saying he was going to kill himself. I have had six months of counselling and i am on anti-depressants but i just feel so lonely and sad. please someone help.thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, moocha +, writes (14 January 2008):
moocha is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your advice, i really appreciate it. I guess i know that is the only solution, i was just scared of going home and feeling like a failure...
i just hate the ends of relationships, its so hard when all you can think about is calling that other person and even when you do it only makes you feel worse!
I just wish i could click my heels together and fast forward 6 months!
thanks for the support!
xx
A
female
reader, always.you  +, writes (14 January 2008):
 my ex boyfriend tried to pull that all the time when i tried to leave he would say he was going to kill himself but when we were toghtehr we argued and he cheated and then came back i think you should head back towards your friends and family they will always be there to supposrt you
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2008): Move back home to where your family and friends are, and forget this man. Sorry to be blunt, but he sounds horrible. I am not surprised you have ended up feeling so low. Dont blame yourself for anything, I have ended up in a situation much the same in the past. The only way out of it is to get out of it. Cut all contact, dont believe him if he threatens suicide, he wants what he cant have. You might have been too available for him, which again is a mistake I have made in the past, but as soon as you arent available he might come creeping back. Dont allow him back into your life. Be strong, look after yourself, and go back to an area you feel safe where there is loved ones. It will be one of the hardest things you have ever done, but empowering and right. Go to your doctor and seek some kind of counselling, where you can talk through how you feel with someone entirely independant from you.
Next time you get into a relationship, dont accept this kind of disrespect. Its easy to get into a rut like that with someone, he has affected your self esteem. You need to work on this and feel better about yourself, then make sure you and your relationships reflect this positivity.
Take care xx
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