A
female
age
30-35,
*onfusedforever
writes:So recently i ended my relationship with this guy..it was mainly because i didnt get really good grades that i wanted and i totally blame the guy for it..because he always thought i could carry on with my studies and would do great blah blah..but i didnt..so i was annoyed on the day of my result and ended it..also, it wasnt just about my studies..he had a different mindset and so did i..before breaking up and all..he always told me that im "the" girl he fell in love with and if in future things didnt work out for the two of us ,he will never marry and stuff like that..and i believed him like anything..but now that i see..hes happy..i dont mind him being happy..but hes into another relationship too..not that i mind that too..but it all started within a week of our break-up..the fact that it doesnt bother him..that kind of upsets me..i want to stalk him all the time! i DONT love him..but still cant get over him..i know even if i had a chance of getting back with him..i wouldnt..but i dont know what makes me want to stalk him...helppp!
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female
reader, Confusedforever +, writes (29 September 2011):
Confusedforever is verified as being by the original poster of the questionand just one more question..the guy is a relative of mine..so if in future we meet..so should i literally ignore him and pretend as if he doesnt exist or should i be a little friendly as if nothing ever happened and i dont really care...thanksss!
A
female
reader, Confusedforever +, writes (26 September 2011):
Confusedforever is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks mishmas..i think i know now what to do! :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2011): "he did tell me that...this time he really wanted to settle with me."
Consider for a moment that he told that to all the other 5 or 6 girls he dated before you...One of the most tired scripts between males and females is the one in which the man tries to prove to the girl that she is special and different from all the others before her. Some men are very talented at this and it seems like your ex might be just be this type of man.
And there is the compulsion for some women to attribute far to much in their lives to men to prove their own importance and influence. That emotion can be positive or romantic emotions like the rush you get from him flattering you or negative emotions, like the type you have after you had found out you did badly in school.
What do you do?
Don't contact him, don't date anyone for a while until you process your seperation, and focus on your school work which you've neglected.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 September 2011):
 I think because he was a big part of your life you still feel like he belongs to you and you just have this itching feeling to know what he is doing all of the time. This can be normal feelings. You need to adjust now to single life. However hard it is you need to stop looking up on him and wanting to know what he is doing all of the time. It is normal to think about him and wonder what he is up to but just don't act on these feelings it will get better soon. Just concentrate on your own life and do things that make you happy and just remember why he is an ex.
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A
female
reader, Confusedforever +, writes (25 September 2011):
Confusedforever is verified as being by the original poster of the question@ mishmash :Maybe blaming him aint the right thing like you said...And no wonder ive had the best time of my life with him but the fact that he told me that I was the one and now hes with somebody else irratates me..and thats because now i doubt if he really loved me or the relationship really mattered to him..hes been into 5-6 other relationships too before me and he did tell me that he didnt ditch any of them but they did and this time he really wanted to settle with me..so his present situation contradicts all that he said...I really feel like messaging him and thanking him for not making me feel guilty anymore since hes in a relationship now..but then i think id sound too desperate...what should i do?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2011): I think you are both disillusioned with each other. You conveniently blamed this guy for your own shortcomings and made him into a villain. Likewise, he made you into a princess. What's pretty clear is that he's not a villain and you are not a princess. I think you need to accept that.
From the sound of your post, I doubt you've gotten over him, or accepted that both of you had the wrong impression of each other...
If you know you don't love him, learn from your disappointments and move on. If you want a second chance, ask him point blank. Alternatively, I would stop obsessing about him and ask myself what you enjoyed from your time with him...
Was it the flattery?
Or was it his company?
If you truly don't want him, but just want romantic attention, find another boyfriend.
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