A
male
age
30-35,
*omradeKhaos
writes:I have been dating and in a serious relationship for a little over a year now. We have known each other for 4+ years prior and always kinda had a thing for each other. Three months ago, it was her birthday and I saved up and bought her a nice $425 necklace with diamonds. She wears it everyday. Currently, I am in the military and she is back home getting ready to move up here to my location in a few months.My birthday was this week, and I received nothing from her, not even a card. The most I got was a sweet happy birthday text in the morning. She has a job, and money is not a real big issue. I'm a little hurt she didn't put any effort whatsoever into my birthday. I am not materialistic by no means, and I truly believe the thought is what counts, but a text (to me anyways) doesn't count as putting thought into it. I sacrificed by saving up that money for quite awhile and put a lot of thought into getting her something nice she could enjoy.Do I have a right to be hurt by this? What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2012): I have a different opinion, I would not be happy and also would not be purchasing expensive gifts again.
If you put your heart and soal into pleasing a person you want that returned. It just shows total lack of commitment on her path.
How can it be okay to receive an expensive thoughtful gift and when its your turn you do not return the showing of love and adoration that was showered on you. She did not even have the decency to phone. This relationship has a bad start and unlikely to survive unless she understand that a relationship is based on giving not just taking.
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (14 September 2012):
 Yes you do have the right to be hurt but then remember, its the thought that counts, right? After all she is moving for you, to be with you. In any case if it bothers you so much then you can ask her why you didn't get even a small gift for your birthday. See what she says.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (14 September 2012):
 Comrade: You obviously like this girl more than you would a Communist Party. It may be too early in the relationship, as someone said, but what is clear is that you wanted to show that you damned cared and you did. She got the message. On the other hand, she sent a text message only, which is even less than a simple phone call. So she is keeping her own behavior in tight rein while you don't.
I think you should spend your money elsewhere AND not rush into the relationship. I have the feeling that this will not work out, and, if you keep behaving this way, you will be in for a lot of abuse.
Unite!
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (14 September 2012):
 Yes you do have a right to be hurt. Money isn't an issue, she could've done many thoughtful things that cost nothing and still showed she cared more than a text. What you should do is talk to her. Tell her it hurt you that all you recieved was a text, you love her and were expecting something more thoughtful and with more effort. Then you will get her answer and decide what to do with that information. You are in a serious relationship, you need to be able to communicate with each other. You can't be upset by this and let it go without a word. Relationships can't last without talking about issues.
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A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (14 September 2012):
 I am going to try to make excuses for her. Perhaps, since she is moving up to where you are, she is trying to save her money. Or maybe she does not feel the need to get you anything special, just because she does not do that for anyone. Everyone is not giving. She perhaps looked at your gift and thinks, wow that's great. With no thought of reciprocating. Why not ask her a question and test it out, say so did you mail me something for my birthday? See what she says. Her answer will let you know where her head is. Good luck. Don't brood over it, but I would learn how she thinks and views thomgs such as this for future reference. By the way, I think that was way too much to spend on someone, within such an early time frame, in a relationship. Take care.
Maybe I'm cheap.
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