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I planned a trip with friends and now they are going on a day I can't go

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 June 2018) 6 Answers - (Newest, 29 June 2018)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I planned a trip to a theme park and invited a couple of friends. I was excited about this. Then one if those friend's invited another couple of friends. One of those friends can't go on the day I am going, so they are now going on another day that I can't go. I feel pissed off about this. My boyfriend may still come with me and one of my mates might come with me, she's not replied yet, but I'm upset that I planned this trip and now most people are going on a different day without me. Feels disappointing. I'm bummed out that I had the idea and was happy my friends wanted to and could come on the same day as me, but then chose to invite other people and go with them instead, like, yeah, thanks...

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (29 June 2018):

Unless I missed it, you didn't ask a question, so I'm not sure how to answer. That being said what they did is inconsiderate but it's also their right as free human beings. Maybe you should find new friends.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2018):

In the future, weeks ahead; send e-vites, and ask people to RSVP a four-days in-advance.

People have no etiquette, don't believe in manners; or don't give a hoot about showing you consideration...unless it's something about them! Clean house!!! Delete all those people from your life. Block their numbers. They canceled last minute; and threw salt on the wounds by rescheduling the date with others. I have to say that is totally "shitty!" Pardon the language!

Here's what I've learned over the years. Keep a mental-tally of all those you can depend on. The people who call you when they've heard you're sick or feeling down, those who standby you when you've had a significant loss, those who send you thank-you notes; and those who knock at your door out of the clear blue, and ask you if you'd like to hangout. Those are friends.

Yes, they still exist. You've just got to know how to pick them! It's never the quantity, it the quality of a friend.

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A male reader, Billy Bathgate United States +, writes (29 June 2018):

What your friends have done is crappy but don’t let them get you down. Go with your boyfriend and enjoy yourself.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (28 June 2018):

Honeypie agony auntThat is a shitty attitude of your friend to do this knowing full well that YOU couldn't make that date.

But... I would just go the day that works for you and those who CAN go and have a blast.

And next time you consider planning something group-wise I would NOT include that dude.

That is case of bad manners but I wouldn't just let it fly. I wouldn't make drama over it, however... this I don't think is OK behavior of friends.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2018):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Yeah, when it came to deciding a day everyone was flexible until the extra person, who I didn't invite, said he couldn't go on one day that turned out is best for me and my travel options. So I said, I have to go on this day, but they'd already basically decided to go on another day, that would be very difficult for me to go work and travel wise. So yeah, I said have fun then and removed myself from the group chat.

My other friends, my boyfriend and my brother are coming with me though, so it's fine. I just won't bother inviting the other friend to things again. I also will make efforts to make new friends as I conside him one of my longest, best friends, but he's going with his best mates instead. Oh well, at least everyone gets to go anyway.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2018):

Those people are not your friends.I am sorry.

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